Calamity James

Calamity James's Test Your Luck Quiz

How (un)lucky can you get? Find out here!

Are you a walking disaster area, a lucky lemming, or... er... something squelchy? Take the Calamity Quiz to find out. Good luck - if you're James, you're really going to need it!

1 You spot a great big pot of gold sitting at the end of the street. But, to reach it, you have to get past a whole row of ladders. What do you do?

Have your say!

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  1. CheesyBeanoFan
    CheesyBeanoFanSun 29 September 2013 at 6:20PM

    *Gives James 'Remedy for Failing Quizzes When They're So Damn Easy!'* Yup, I'm Alexander Lemming!

    THE BEANOSAURSun 4 August 2013 at 9:17AM

    I GOT A'S BECAUSE I am close disaster! Very close, because Calamity James is your closest pal.

  3. peasy2
    peasy2Thu 25 July 2013 at 9:43AM

    ohhh i wanted to be a squelchy thing but im lemming instead


  4. oliverbudd
    oliverbuddWed 10 July 2013 at 4:57PM

    cool i voted for b on every one

  5. beano2003
    beano2003Fri 14 June 2013 at 6:47PM

    its brill!

  6. greencub
    greencubThu 18 April 2013 at 12:58AM

    im a squichly thing

  7. minnietheminx12
    minnietheminx12Fri 29 March 2013 at 5:35PM


  8. beano girl 18
    beano girl 18Thu 28 March 2013 at 3:43PM


  9. liberty2917
    liberty2917Sat 23 March 2013 at 10:42AM

    i am THE LEMMING

  10. ghasher
    ghasherThu 14 February 2013 at 7:47PM

    I have calamity james hes the best

  11. rodney110
    rodney110Mon 11 February 2013 at 3:00PM

    Mostly A's for me.

  12. ilovebeanosomuch!
    ilovebeanosomuch!Wed 23 January 2013 at 5:51PM

    I was alex.

  13. bada28
    bada28Sun 2 December 2012 at 4:59PM

    i was alexander lemming very close to being a disaster.

  14. applecreamturnover1
    applecreamturnover1Sun 28 October 2012 at 1:31PM

    I was Alexander Lemming! Calamity James' best friend!

    thegumleys@aol.comWed 3 October 2012 at 6:55PM

    shelch little shelchy thingy

  16. cutiecookie1234
    cutiecookie1234Sat 22 September 2012 at 2:41PM

    I got Calmity James

  17. microchip
    microchipThu 20 September 2012 at 7:22PM


  18. zoey wizz231
    zoey wizz231Tue 21 August 2012 at 10:04AM

    ow ouch im james ouch ow

  19. zoey wizz231
    zoey wizz231Tue 21 August 2012 at 9:48AM

    i got alexander

  20. Bash Street Kids 789
    Bash Street Kids 789Mon 13 August 2012 at 2:35PM

    I had mostly A's so I am Alexander Lemming.

  21. therampage101
    therampage101Fri 27 July 2012 at 10:41PM

    i got squlchything

  22. LMFAO dodger!
    LMFAO dodger!Wed 4 April 2012 at 6:54PM

    iam alexander lemming. its true because i love jumping off of things. last year i jumped on my trampoline and fell off. ouch!!!! :(

  23. connorm
    connormSun 11 December 2011 at 8:34AM

    im a little squelchy thing SQUELCH WOBBLE SQUIDGE WIBBLE

  24. Glaceon lover
    Glaceon loverSat 10 December 2011 at 10:47AM

    Hey, id wait till there's no cars coming

  25. rooster
    roosterSat 12 November 2011 at 9:45AM

    i was alex

    you were just like me dennis


  26. Dennis fan99
    Dennis fan99Thu 6 October 2011 at 7:35PM

    hahahahahahahahahahahah i was alex


  27. Roger123
    Roger123Thu 6 October 2011 at 6:55PM

    I dont know what i could do without the beano

  28. Roger123
    Roger123Thu 6 October 2011 at 6:52PM

    I think the beano is AUESOME

  29. daleksec
    daleksecMon 5 September 2011 at 6:56PM

    squelch squelch squelch blobby squelchy squelch squelch. (guess what I got!) SQUELCH!!!!

  30. yetanotherbeanofan
    yetanotherbeanofanMon 29 August 2011 at 7:26PM

    james! who loves drawing squelchies?

  31. stink bomb
    stink bombTue 23 August 2011 at 1:37PM

    u will never guess what my mum is gonna get me 1 year beano subscription and a sling shot and all the beano jokes how cool i am gonna pay for 1 of the pranks ha ha it will teach meh mum to menace with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. stink bomb
    stink bombTue 23 August 2011 at 1:35PM

    i am james how cool mind u i am very clumsy

  33. Gabrielo8
    Gabrielo8Fri 17 June 2011 at 8:55PM

    I got james

  34. Emmpop4
    Emmpop4Sat 4 June 2011 at 2:27PM

    I am alexander lemming ! he is cool!

  35. concon
    conconSat 28 May 2011 at 2:39AM

    I got a littlr squelch thing he he

  36. dezzer
    dezzerMon 9 May 2011 at 7:38PM

    i got alexander lemming

  37. georgeminx
    georgeminxMon 18 April 2011 at 8:48PM

    alexander lemming

  38. benyboy100
    benyboy100Thu 14 April 2011 at 8:46PM

    i got alexander lemming

  39. MeTrouble
    MeTroubleSun 10 April 2011 at 11:45AM

    im a squelchythingy! they are so cool

  40. Chickenchub
    ChickenchubSun 20 March 2011 at 10:35AM

    im sqelchy fing!!!

  41. BeanoBonkers
    BeanoBonkersThu 17 March 2011 at 4:53PM

    i got alexandra. never mind. i quite suit bein a lemming anyways:)

  42. Evil Tom
    Evil TomSun 13 March 2011 at 6:43PM

    Squelch, Squelchy Squelchy Squelchy Squelch, Splat, Squelchy Squelch; Squelch squelch Squelch.

  43. roger the doger
    roger the dogerSun 13 March 2011 at 2:03PM

    i'm a little squelchy thing

  44. Evie5
    Evie5Sun 13 March 2011 at 10:39AM


  45. andrew member
    andrew memberSat 12 March 2011 at 6:58PM

    @ Webguy Hi Webguy! I would just like to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR FIXING THIS QUIZ FOR ME! Also... Please Please X-1000!+MORE! Tell me About Dennis's Birthday In the beano issue 3577! Will there be a FREE! Birthday gift? A Birthday hat/crown?? Or perhaps Every single story could have dennis and gnasher in it? If youre still planing on how to make the birthday beano issue 3577! Please take my advise! Of a FREE! Birthday pressent or hat or both! Even if the price does go up I don't care! (Just for that issue! Because its a Birthday special!) Oh and Please Reply to me! PLEASE!

  46. andrew member
    andrew memberSat 12 March 2011 at 6:49PM


  47. microchip
    microchipFri 11 March 2011 at 4:07PM

    yay! i is the squelchy thingy!!!

  48. powerspy
    powerspyThu 10 March 2011 at 9:28PM

    same here beanofan398 I got alexander as well

  49. evc2003
    evc2003Thu 10 March 2011 at 6:18PM

    I got alexander

  50. Eve
    EveThu 10 March 2011 at 4:50PM

    I got Alex!