The PS5 is here and there’s a lot of technical details to discuss. If you’re the sort of person who likes those details cut up, analysed and presented on a plate for your easy digestion then this list is for you! We’ve consulted numerous gaming experts, a top notch computer developer, Dr Strange from the X-Men and my Great Aunt Veronica to bring you the ten most exciting things about the PS5. Let’s get the game on…
1. Say Goodbye to Loading Screens
If you think Kylian Mbappe is fast in FIFA21, you’ll be blown away by the speed of the PS5. PS5 boffin developers have built a 12-channel memory controller from the ground up to send uncompressed data at speeds of up to 5.5GB/sec, so say goodbye to loading times.
2. All the feels
Improved DualSense haptic feedback means that if you’re driving a car through mud, you’ll be able to feel the difference once you return to the racetrack. In fact, loads of in-game events can now be communicated through the controllers, adding an extra sensory angle to keep your gaming on edge!
3. More and more storage
Forget about running out of space. The PS5 has expandable storage! Image a wardrobe. That’s the storage of a PS4. Now imagine the wardrobe from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; that’s the PS5’s storage. When you run out of space there’s a limitless world beyond to store even more stuff. Only with the PS5 you don’t get free hot chocolate from a witch!
4. Graphics smoother than a smoothie
Running at 120 frames per second, the PS5 displays graphics four times faster than the human eye can handle. Perfect for people without human eyes, like robots and cyborgs! All these frames mean smoother visuals, crisper images and slicker animations – all for your gaming pleasure!
5. Lighting Effects that Rock
Someone has put some bit in the PS5 that does something called ray-tracing that’s mad complicated but means something about cool realistic lighting effects! Do you even know what “Albedo” means!? If you don’t then look it up so all their boffin energy isn’t wasted!
6. It Can Play PS4 Games
The fact that the PS5 can play PS4 games is great news if you’re not a millionaire and you don’t want to replace all your old games. If you are a millionaire then it’s still great news because you probably didn’t become a millionaire by spending loads of money on games you already own.
If you’ve got the right audio equipment you’ll be able to tell where enemies are in games by the direction the sound of their footsteps comes from. This “Awesome Directional Ear Sound Capability Supercharging” – a term that’s definitely not made-up – adds atmosphere to creepy games, allows for exciting new gaming scenarios, and most importantly allows you to frag your friends more effectively!
8. Virtually Perfect
If real life is boring and filled with stuff like homework, lockdowns, and farts, it’s reassuring to know that there’s another reality available courtesy of your PS5. And yes, the PS5 is compatible with existing PS Virtual Reality headsets (if you are lucky enough to have one).
9. Brand New Peripherals
Peripherals are the bits that can attach to your gadgets. The PS5 has an HD camera, the Pulse 3D (a wireless headset that works with the console’s 3D audio support) , a media remote, and a robot penguin that bakes biscuits while you game. Only one of these is made up!
10. Two Beats One
Two different PS5 versions will be released, one for people who want physical games and one for people who are happy just with downloads! If you’re a super-rich premier league footballer you can buy both, even though there’s no point. Actually, if you’re a super-rich premier league footballer you should probably be training instead of doing Beano Quizzes.