100 Greatest Christmas Jokes - Part One

Part One of Beano's greatest ever Christmas jokes collection!

Image by iStock

If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an elf get?

Mistle Toe!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?

Nice gnawing you!

Who is Santa's all-time favourite pop singer?

Elf-is Presley!

Why did the turkey cross the road?

He wasn't chicken!

What's green, says 'ribbet' and is covered in tinsel?

A Mistletoad!

Hurry Christmas
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What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells!

What's red, white and spotty?

Santa Claus with chickenpox!

What goes 'Oh oh oh!'?

Santa, when he puts the sleigh in reverse!

What kind of music do elves like best?


What did one Christmas tree decoration say to anther?

Let's hang out!

Merry Crim-mas
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Which reindeer has the worst table manners?


What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Pole-ish!

How good is Santa at karate?

He has a black belt!

How do you scare a snowman?

With a hairdryer!

What do ducks pull at Christmas?

Christmas quackers!

Image by iStock

What did the reindeer say to the elf?

Nothing - reindeer can't talk!

What do vampires give at Christmas?


Where would you find snowmen dancing?

At a snowball!

Who solves crimes at Christmas?

Santa Clues!

Ho do you know if Santa's in your house?

You can sense his presents!

Image by iStock

How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?

Just one - after that, it isn't empty!

What do snowmen eat for Christmas?


What do you call people who are scared of Christmas?


What do snowmen do when the weather's too hot for hats and scarves?

They change into puddles!

How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

Nothing - it was on the house!

Image by ç

If you liked this, then you should try watching 4 Amazing Flea Jokes - Food!

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