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20 Salad Jokes Which Are Actually Good For You!

Here's a selection of the freshest, crunchiest jokes which will make you laugh – and they're good for you, too!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 1st 2021

Salad is actually healthy food. Don't blame us, that's a scientific fact. Some people might turn their nose up at a bowl of lettuce, carrots, celery and onion, but to some it's an absolute treat – just like these blam jokes!

Once you've digested this lot, why follow them up with these awesome ice cream jokes and cake jokes for dessert!

What did the pineapple say to the salad?

Laughing pineapple and lettuce

Lettuce be friends!

How do you make a salad very cold?

Use iceberg lettuce!

What did one snowman say to the other?

Can you smell carrots?

Why was the salad wearing a cowboy outfit?

It was trying out the ranch dressing.

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato while out for a walk?

Ketchup!

What vegetables are sailor’s enemies?

Leeks!

What did the salad say to the chef? 

A chef

Lettuce go!

Why did the tomato turn red?

It saw the salad dressing! 

Why was making a chicken salad a waste of time?

They don’t like salad!

What do you call a chicken looking at a salad?

Funny chicken
Funny chicken

A chicken Caesar salad!

What did the lettuce say to the carrot?

Peas go on a date with me!

What type of leaf vegetable can go to the moon?

Rocket!

What floats around the Artic sinking ships?

Iceberg lettuce!

What do you call an onion that won’t hold water?

Leek!

What’s red and invisible?

No tomatoes!

What do you call an onion’s more fun cousin?

Funions!

What’s a vegetable’s favourite martial art?

Carrotee!

What do lettuce use to mend clothes?

Vegetable patches!

Why did the puny lettuce go to the gym?

It wanted to get shredded!

What vegetable is only slightly cool?

A rad-ish!