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44 Cow Jokes Which Will A-moo-se You!

Moove over, 46 funny cow jokes coming through!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  January 4th 2022

This pasture's rich with funny cow jokes - just look out for the cow pats! When you've dodged them all, check out our animal jokes or crack up with chicken jokes.

Where does a cow stay when it's on vacation?

A mooooo-tel!

Where do cows go on vacation?

Moo York!

Cow

Did you hear about the cow that cried wolf?

It was fake moos!

Black and white cow

Why was the Youtuber so good at handling cows?

Because he was used to milking content!

Black and white cow standing up

What do you call a cow who plays guitar?

A moo-sician!

Black and white cow playing electric guitar

Which Disney princess loves cows?

Moo-lan!

Laughing banana

What do you call a mug of coffee that doesn't contain a baby cow?

De-calf-inated!

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake!

Black and white cow lying on its side in a puddle

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

Cow with horns standing up

What do cows like to watch on Netflix?

A good moo-vie!

A black and white cow eating popcorn

What do you call a cow that nibbles your grass?

A lawn moo-er!

A brown cow chewing grass

Why do cows enjoy hearing jokes?

Because they love being amoosed!

Two laughing cows in a field

What do you say to a cow if it’s in your way?

Mooooove!

A grinning cow blocking the way

What did the farmer call his cow?

Pat!

A grinning farmer and a cow wearing green sunglasses

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!

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What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky!

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What do you see in a cows nose?

Moooooogers!

What happens when cows laugh?

Milk comes out of their noses!

What do you call Benny the bull when he falls asleep?

A bulldozer!

What's a cow's favourite sci-fi TV programme?

Dr. Moo!

What did the cow say to Ariana Grande?

You’ve got the mooooooves!

What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline?

Mikshake!

What happens when you mix a shark and a cow together?

I don’t know but I wouldn’t want to milk it!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To watch a moo-vie!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To listen to the moo-sician!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the moo-seum!

Did you hear about the cow that was swept away in a tornado?

It was an udder disaster!

What type of magazines do cows read?

Cattlelogs!

Where do cows go for entertainment?

To the moo-vies!

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

What do cows use in WhatsApp messages?

Emooojis!

What do you call it when one cow spies on another?

A steak-out!

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What do you call a cow you can’t see?

Camooflaged!

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?

Roost beef!

Knock, knock! Who's there? The interrupting cow. The interrupting…

[INTERRUPT THEM] MOOOO!!!

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Cowsgo. Cowsgo who?

No, cows go moo!

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What do you get if you sit under a cow?

A pat on the head!

What do cows read in the morning?

The moospaper!

How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down!

Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the moovies!

What do you get from nervous cows?

Milkshakes!

Why do cows lie down in groups when it’s cold?

To keep each udder warm!

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work!

Why do cows tell jokes?

To amoo-se themselves!

A racoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our cow jokes to our animal jokes page