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10 Funniest Jokes About Haggis for Burns Night

Laugh your guts out with these hilarious haggis jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 16th 2022

What's the best part of Burns Night? The irn bru? The shortbread? WRONG! It's the star of the feast, the haggis! Love it or hate it, no Scot will have a Burns Supper without it. But it doesn't have a great reputation outside of Scotland - we have no idea why! So, get ready for a hilarious ode to the haggis to get you in the spirit of Scotland's greatest poet! For more food jokes check out some burger jokes, or maybe you'd prefer a nice healthy lettuce joke? Or even a full meal with some breakfast jokes!

Why didn’t the haggis go to the barbecue?

He was a veggie haggis!

I bet you thought there would be better jokes here…

“Haggis” you’ll have to make do with these!

What’s a haggis’s favourite kind of facial hair?

Mutton chops!

What do you get if you cross a thistle and a haggis?

A sore throat!

What do you call a haggis in the middle of the Gobi desert?


I heard haggis is made using stomachs…

Sounds like tripe to me!

What is Scotland’s gross domestic product?


Where will you have to go if you eat too much haggis?

The Burns Ward!

I tried haggis…

It tasted offal!

I wanted to try haggis for the first time…

But I just don’t have the stomach for it!