Postman Pat Jokes

Postman Pat Jokes

Special Delivery! Beano's FIRST CLASS Postman Pat jokes will provide a whole BUNDLE of laughs!

Tracking the next Par-ha-ha-cel and getting impatient? We'll ADDRESS that for you! 

We've got many more hilarious POSTs ready for collection right now! Try our well-RECEIVED cat jokes, perfectly-packaged Peppa Pig jokes, or expertly-delivered Spongebob jokes!

What did Postman Pat deliver to Dracula?

Letters from his fang club!

Who sits in a corner and does nothing all day but somehow still travels the world?

Stamps!

What starts with a G, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?

Greendale Post Office!

What did Mrs Pottage call Betty when she got stuck in a fence?

A black sheep!

What did Postman Pat bring to a mansion's costume party?

Fancy Address!

What cheers Jess up when she is feeling down?

A pat!

What does Postman Pat deliver to Jess?

A cat-alogue!

What do you get if you cross a Leopard with a watchdog?

A terrified Postman Pat!

Why couldn't Jess help Postman Pat with the delivery?

He wouldn't letter!

Did you hear the joke about the unstamped letter?

Nevermind, you wouldn't get it!

Postman Pat tells a lot of jokes about undelivered letters...

But no one seems to get them!

What language does Postman Pat use when delivering to Hogwarts?

Parceltongue!

Postman Pat explained to me why I'm not receiving any mail...

I just don't get it!

What do you call Postman Pat when he has retired?

Pat!

Where does Postman Pat take his holidays in Spain?

Parcelona!

Why is Postman Pat a bad stand-up comedian?

He's bad at delivery!

What's Postman Pat's favourite herb?

Parcel-y!

'I'm stuck on a crossword. The clue is "overworked postman".' 'How many letters?'

Thousands!

What does Postman Pat call a fake postman?

An imPOSTer!

If you rearrange the letters of 'Postman Pat'...

He gets really annoyed!

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