These FIFA19 jokes are Premier League!

Why is Messi like a magician?

He has loads of hat tricks!

What kind of tea do football players drink?

Penaltea!

What do football players do when they get overheated?


Stand next to a fan!

When is a football pitch like a triangle?

When somebody takes a corner! 

Which footballer do sheep like best?

Paul Pog-baaaa!

Or Killian M-baaa-ppe!

What team are named after an ice cream flavour?

Aston Vanilla!

Did you hear about the football pitch NASA built on the moon?

They used astroturf!

Why doesn't Jurgen Klopp eat meat?

He orefers Salah!

Why are Man City better than Everton?

They have twice as much Silva!

When does Anfield sound like a horse?

When the Kop clap Klopp! 

What is Man Utd's goalie's best feature? 

De Gea!

What's the best way to protect your house from bad football?

A Guard-iola dog!

What should you do if Liverpool's midfield steal your car?

Call the Klopps!

Mauricio Pochettino must have hurt his leg - he always uses a Kane! 

Who's scaly, cold-blooded and plays at Stamford Bridge?

Eden Lizard!