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Thomas The Tank Engine Jokes

These Thomas jokes are off the rails! Check out these funny Thomas the Tank Engine jokes for some choo choo chuckles!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  June 25th 2022

We think you'll find these Thomas the Tank Engine jokes a great way to let off steam! And if you thought these were funny, check out our hilarious Arthur jokes for more TV laughs! Or how about these funny Dumbledore jokes! We've even got these silly Sesame Street jokes for real muppet fans! And head to our main jokes page for even more lols!

What sort of coffee does Thomas drink?


What happens when Thomas eats?

He chew-chews!

Do you know where Thomas is?

It's hard to keep track!

What sort of shoes does Thomas wear?


Why was Thomas so confident?

He had high self-eSTEAM!

Did you hear that Thomas used to be a reporter?

He's an ex-press train!

Where does Thomas go to find out how much he weighs?

The weighting room!

How do you find Thomas if he gets lost?

Follow the tracks!

Why did Thomas camouflage himself?

He wanted to cover his tracks!

Why was Thomas confused?

He'd lost his train of thought!

Why can't the Fat Controller get electrocuted?

Because he's not a conductor!

How does Thomas hear?

Through his engin-ears!

Why was Thomas only going 5mph?

He's a slowcomotive!

What did Thomas say when Gordon helped him out of a ditch?

Tank you!

What do you call Thomas when he has a cold?

Achoo-choo train!

What do you get when you cross a Tram Engine and Shakespeare?

Toby, or not Toby, that is the question

Why is Thomas such a quick thinker?

He has real engine-uity!

What did Thomas do on Halloween?

He ran a skeleton service!

What is Thomas' favourite Olympic event?


Why was Thomas sad?

His day had gone off the rails!