1. What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!

2. What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill!

3. What did one penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he gave him the cold shoulder!

4. Why don't penguins fly?
Because they're not tall enough to be pilots!

5. How does a Penguin build a LEGO house?
Igloos it together!

6. What’s a penguins favourite relative?
Aunt Arctica!

7. What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-burgers!

8. What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

9. What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrritos!

10. What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish!

11. Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven't got any pockets!

12. What do penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

13. How do a group of penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin!
 
14. How do penguins know when there's something wrong?
It smells a bit fishy!

15. Why didn't the penguin jump off of the iceberg?
He got cold feet!

16. Why don't you ever see penguins in Great Britain?
Because they're scared of Wales!

17. What do you call a penguin with no eye?
Pengun!

18. Why do polar bears and penguins not get on?
Because they are polar opposites!
 
19. When I meet new people I always talk about my giant pet penguin...
It's a good icebreaker!

20. Why should you not write a book on penguins?
Because writing a book on paper is much easier!

21. Where do penguins keep their savings?
In a snow bank!

22. What do penguins wear on their feet at night time?
Slippers!

23. Which bird always gets first place?
A peng-win!