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20 Unforgettable Uncle Jokes!

These uncle jokes will have your whole family in stitches! Check them out to put a smile on your uncle's face!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 19th 2024

Jokes FROM your uncle can be just as bad as jokes from your dad - if not worse! These uncle jokes will give you something to fight back with when the terrible puns get going - you're sure to win the family battle of the wits with these jokes, puns and one-liners! And we have loads more family jokes - here are some about sisters, brothers and grandmothers!

Where did the uncle meet his wife?

Aunt-arctica!

Why couldn’t the uncle go near his wife?

She was an auntie-matter bomb!

My uncle got to name me and my brother…

We’re called Denise and Denephew!

What’s Spiderman’s favourite instant dinner?

Uncle Ben’s Rice!

My uncle was addicted to deli meats…

He had to go cold turkey!

My uncle decided to leave his job at the bank…

Looks like he lost interest!

My dad's brother is named Robert...

I guess Bob's my uncle!

Why did the uncle drive around in a frozen car?

He lost his aunty-freeze!

My uncle got lost on his birdwatching trip…

Looks like he took a wrong tern!

My uncle always says, “When one door closes another door opens.”

He’s a nice guy but a terrible cabinet maker!

My uncle always says, “It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.”

He’s a nice guy but a terrible pilot!

My uncle heard that most accidents happen around 1 mile of your home…

So he moved!

What do you call your sweaty uncle’s wife?

Auntie Perspirant!

You’ve heard of the dad joke, now get ready for the uncle joke!

The punchline isn’t a-parent, but at least it’s all groan up!

I bought my late uncle’s widow a watch for her birthday…

Now she’s just my uncle’s widow!

My uncle was crushed by a falling piano…

His funeral was very low-key!

What did King Kong say when his sister had a baby?

"Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!"

My uncle won’t do what his wife tells him…

He's defy-aunt!

My dad was born a conjoined twin, but he got the separation surgery...

I had an uncle, once removed!

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because all his uncles were ants!

Vampire Chair

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