Back to School? Here’s How To Social Distance – the Fun Way!
If you can smell their farts, you’re too close!
Well, it’s time to go back to school. And as well as sitting on your packed lunch and squashing your sandwiches, you’ve got to think about how to keep the right distance from your mates. Great.
But don’t worry! Here are a few tips for how to have fun whilst staying safe. And just because you have to follow all the new health rules, doesn’t mean you can’t break some school rules sometimes!
1. Stay 2 metres away!
To stay safe, you should stay 2 metres away from everyone else at school. So that means no tickling, wrestling or wedgie-ing. For now. And if you can’t remember how far 2 metres is, here’s a quick guide. 2 metres is:
6.66 Pineapples They don’t have to be laughing – but obviously it’s better if they are.
13 uncooked hotdogs These can be veggie ones, or those really cheap ones mostly made out of sawdust – up to you.
1 Romesh Ranganathan wearing a cowboy hat If he’s not wearing a cowboy hat, you’re not *quite* far away enough.
2. No-contact sports
The aim of the game is… no touching! So tennis GOOD, rugby BAD. Fair enough – but can you think up some new games that don’t need you to touch anyone? How’s about dodgeball? Or British Bulldog but using only the power of your mind?
3. Pass notes via paper aeroplane
So you shouldn’t pass around cartoons of your PE teacher being eaten by bears any more. But don’t worry! If you fold up your gory drawings into a paper plane, they can now soar gracefully across the classroom. For some top tips on how to make a good paper aeroplane – check this out!
4. SHOUT LOADS
Because you’re socially distanced, nobody will hear you if you speak quietly. So this is the perfect opportunity to get really good at TALKING EXTRA LOUD. It’ll be handy when you get a job as a WRESTLING COMMENTATOR or an IMPATIENT PE TEACHER! RAAAARRGH