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15 Funny Unromantic Valentine’s Poems!

No one likes sickly Valentine's messages. Try these poems instead!

🤣
Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 1st 2023

Have you ever sent a Valentine's Day card? It's tricky knowing exactly what to write inside, isn't it? Plus, grown-ups say that you have to write with your other hand so the person who receives your card won't know who it's from. It's all about mystery, but after a lot of thought, it comes down to this: writing something inside is the difficult part.

Sure, you could write a romantic poem but they might be a bit too cheesy. We think your best bet is to write something as un-romantic as possible and try to make that special someone laugh instead. We spoke to the finest romantic poets in the land who provided us with 15 hilarious poems which mention roses and violets, so it's sort of romantic (in a way).

Check out these funny unromantic verses and we've even made a set you can print out and enclose inside the envelope!

1. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Poetry is hard,
Broccoli.

2. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You've got stinky trainers,
And your socks smell ripe too!

3. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm allergic to flowers,
And might sneeze over you.

4. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I've made a sandwich,
But not one for you!

5. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Voldemort is scary,
And my teacher is too!

6. Roses are red,
Violets aren't blue.
They are actually purple,
There's a fact for you!

7. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm looking for a toilet,
Because I need a poo!

8. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You love playing Minecraft,
And look like a Creeper too!

9. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You've got knobbly knees,
And hairy troll's feet too!

10. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Can you pass me a tissue,
Because I've got the flu!

11. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
There's a big hairy monster,
Standing behind you!

12. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Seagulls are airborne,
So watch out for poo!

13. Roses are red,
Violets have petals.
Iron is one of my
Five favourite metals!

14. Roses are red,
Violets are flowers.
The Star Wars films
Total around 16 hours!

15. Roses are red,
Violets have petals.
I sneezed on these flowers
Disgusting but true!