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Spy Jokes

Sshh. Top Secret message incoming… Here at the KGBeano we’ve a Licence to Joke. It’s a responsibility we don’t take very seriously. If you like a giggle or like to live and let cry with laughter, you’ll be in 007 heaven with these hilarious Spy Jokes!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 13th 2021

Looking for more jokes like this? Check out these real life WW2 spy facts!
Otherwise, don a disguise, pack your best water-pistol to delve in the shady world of our main jokes page! Don't forget to try our our amazing Joke Generator!

Who’s the best at keeping secrets in the hive?

The Cagey Bee!

Why did James Bond stand on a box of fish fingers?

To get a Birdseye view!

Potatoes make great spies!

Eyes everywhere!

Shakespeare was a spy…

Thespianage!

What do you call it when two spies become close friends?

They Bond!

Did you here about the Italian double agent!

Pasta Jokes
Pasta Jokes

He was an impasta!

Did you read that book about a guy who became a spy?

Yup, cover to undercover!

Why is a spy like superman?

A dad dressed as a superhero

They’re always in da skies!

What do you call it when you spy on a butcher?

A steak out!

Where does a spy go to the toilet?

A spy dressed as Sherlock Holmes

A gents!

Did you hear about the spies who planted tiny microphones inside a tube of polos?

They were in four mints!

A German spy gave themselves away when I sneezed by saying "gesundheit!"

A blessing in disguise!

What's the best way to spy on a zookeeper?

A lion in the Kalahari

You put a tap on their lions!

Why do spies never sing falsetto?

They prefer to stay low-key!

Why did the spy spend all day in bed?

Because they were working undercover!

What do you call someone who spies on frogs?

Frog Jokes
Frog Jokes

James Pond

What’s a spy’s favourite footwear?

Sneakers!

Why did the spy cross the road?

How do you know which side he is really on?

Did you hear about the shoemaker spy?

She would always travel inclognito!

I don’t know why you care about your phone spying on you…

Your vacuum cleaner’s been gathering dirt for years!

WHat’s Bond’s favourite Christmas snack?

Mince Spies

What do you call a spy who orders fairy liquid, shaken not stirred?

Bubble-0 7

Who was the first underwater spy?

James Pond!

What do you call it when one cow spies on another?

What do you call jokes

A steak-out!