The Ultimate Summer Holiday Timetable!

6 weeks off school to fill up with STUFF and ACTIVITIES and NONSENSE and FUN! 5 days a week of 7 hour days for 6 weeks is an amazing 210 HOURS! Here's one way of filling it...

Do some high-quality staring out the window

Watch every Marvel movie so far (apart from Spider-Man: Homecoming, because that would take longer – you’d have to go to the cinema)

Investigate the mysterious spacecraft that’s crashed at the bottom of the garden

Sleep is meant to be good for you or something – you can probably fit 14 minutes extra napping in somewhere

Make a comic! An amazing one!

Carefully, cunningly plan a devastating water balloon attack on a loved one

Be the victim of a far more cunningly, far more carefully planned, far more devastating water balloon attack by a loved one

Repair the enigmatic device that came out of the spaceship, and become engulfed in a strange glowing forcefield

Take something apart you probably shouldn’t have taken apart

Read and enjoy the Beano Summer Special and all the free gifts that come with it

Invent a silly meal

Annoy your parents

Get obsessed with a particular YouTuber and watch all 624 of their uploaded videos

Tell the same joke 30 times, getting the same part slightly wrong every time and sending everyone around you insane

Find that you’ve travelled through time using bizarre alien technology, and go through a series of implausible adventures in the past and the future, before reappearing in the present only a few minutes after you initially disappeared

Laugh at something really stupid until milk comes out of your nose

Begrudgingly clean the milk up

Find a really, really good stick

Sit down too fast and be all like 'Whoa'

Discover you’ve accidentally affected the space-time continuum and people have beaks now, plus nobody can read

Trace exactly where in the past it all went wrong and formulate a plan to return the timeline to its original state

Chew through a pencil by accident

Travel through history fixing what went wrong and having really unlikely adventures

Eventually emerge victorious but with nobody any the wiser about the bleak alternate reality you saved them from

Try a be a good citizen and clean the bathroom

Return the time machine to the alien spaceship you got it from, as humanity isn’t ready for the responsibility of it yet

Get the aliens to tell you some jokes from outer space

Learn to juggle or something

That's the whole summer holidays done! Well done! Wait, hang on...

Have your memory of the entire alien/time-travel adventure mysteriously erased

6 weeks off school to fill up with OH WOW, WHAT HAPPENED?