The Ultimate Summer Holiday Timetable!
You've got 6 weeks to fill – here's how to fill it!
It's the school holidays!
6 weeks off school to fill up with STUFF and ACTIVITIES and NONSENSE and FUN! 5 days a week of 7 hour days for 6 weeks is an amazing 210 HOURS! Here's one way of filling it...
Have a big ol' gaze
Do some high-quality staring out the window
Go Marvel mad
Watch every Marvel movie so far (apart from Spider-Man: Homecoming, because that would take longer – you’d have to go to the cinema)
Have a snoop
Investigate the mysterious spacecraft that’s crashed at the bottom of the garden
Sleep is meant to be good for you or something – you can probably fit 14 minutes extra napping in somewhere
Make a comic! An amazing one!
Carefully, cunningly plan a devastating water balloon attack on a loved one
Be the victim of a far more cunningly, far more carefully planned, far more devastating water balloon attack by a loved one
Get to grips with new technology
Repair the enigmatic device that came out of the spaceship, and become engulfed in a strange glowing forcefield
Explore metal innards
Take something apart you probably shouldn’t have taken apart
Read and enjoy the Beano Summer Special and all the free gifts that come with it
Invent a silly meal
Destroy the nerves of those that love you most
Annoy your parents
Do a deep dive
Get obsessed with a particular YouTuber and watch all 624 of their uploaded videos
Bring hilarity to the world
Tell the same joke 30 times, getting the same part slightly wrong every time and sending everyone around you insane
Voyage through time and space
Find that you’ve travelled through time using bizarre alien technology, and go through a series of implausible adventures in the past and the future, before reappearing in the present only a few minutes after you initially disappeared
Be mildly amused
Laugh at something really stupid until milk comes out of your nose
Deal with the consequences
Begrudgingly clean the milk up
Get to grips with nature
Find a really, really good stick
Have a mishap
Sit down too fast and be all like 'Whoa'
Have a slightly larger mishap
Discover you’ve accidentally affected the space-time continuum and people have beaks now, plus nobody can read
Trace exactly where in the past it all went wrong and formulate a plan to return the timeline to its original state
Taste the cleverness!
Chew through a pencil by accident
Get to work
Travel through history fixing what went wrong and having really unlikely adventures
Eventually emerge victorious but with nobody any the wiser about the bleak alternate reality you saved them from
Experience true horror
Try a be a good citizen and clean the bathroom
Return the time machine to the alien spaceship you got it from, as humanity isn’t ready for the responsibility of it yet
Get the aliens to tell you some jokes from outer space
Hone your skills
Learn to juggle or something
YOU'VE DONE IT!
That's the whole summer holidays done! Well done! Wait, hang on...
Have your memory of the entire alien/time-travel adventure mysteriously erased
It's the school holidays!
6 weeks off school to fill up with OH WOW, WHAT HAPPENED?