What did you have for breakfast this morning?
Who was your favourite finalist in the 1982 Boston World Fart Championships?
Which of these pop stars do you think has the worst farts?
What did you eat for lunch?
What's the most important part of a good fart?
What's your favourite slang name for a fart?
Everyone knows that all Disney songs are actually about farts*. Which is your favourite?*They're not really.
What did you eat for dinner last night?
What have your family asked you to get them for Xmas?
Where would you most like to fart?
You are a Silent Stinker!
You are the most dangerous of the fart family, and you strike without warning. You hang around in lifts, stairwells and other small, enclosed spaces – striking fear into the nostrils of your enemies. You are usually created by weird combinations of foods, and your smell has been known to strip the varnish off wooden furniture. Shame on you.
You are a Whopping Rippler!
You're the ultimate bottom belch! But despite clocking in at a massive 7.4 on the ripper scale, you don't smell that bad – which makes you a great ice-breaker at fart parties. Be careful though, you're loud enough to cause avalanches and can echo for miles on a clear day. So fart wisely, o human trombone.
You are a Wet Grunt!
You make a weird noise, like a duck being trodden on underwater. You smell real bad as well – like a mix of cabbage and rotting porridge. Your gross smell and loud sound make you a guff that's not to be messed with!
You are a Squeaky Stretcher!
You are impossibly long and high-pitched, and sound like a creaky door being opened in the world's worst-smelling castle. You're the kind of fart that just keeps going and going, likely because of huge gut pressure and expert bum control. You're one of the rarest farts, and no normal human can produce more than a few of these an hour.