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30 Funny Witch Jokes That Spell Laughter!

These funny Halloween witch jokes spell just one thing: hilarity!

🤣
Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  September 10th 2024

We think William Shakespeare said it best in his play Macbeth with the famous scene featuring some witches trying to out-funny each other. What was it they said? Oh, yes… "Double, double toil and trouble; funny jokes and caldron chuckle!"

We're certain those are the exact words. But if you want some funny witch jokes to tell your trick or treaters this Halloween, or if you're an actual witch, then this is the page for you! We've collected the funniest witch jokes from a big cast iron cauldron of laughter to bring a chuckle or 30 to your Halloween celebrations!

Just because witches have magic powers and could turn you into a toad, it doesn't mean you can't have a laugh or two. But the idea of a toad telling some Halloween howlers sounds awesome too.

We predict a spell of giggles! Once you're done with these funny witch jokes, check our our very funny vampire jokes, mega monster jokes and ha-Halloween jokes.

Who turns the lights off at Halloween? 

The light's witch!

Halloween Costume Jokes

Why did the witch's cat scratch her? 

Because they were in a bad mewd!

Why was the witch’s broom late? 

It over swept!

Why is it good to eat witch's soup? 

It's very newt-tricious!

Who was the most famous witch detective? 

Warlock Holmes!

Where do witches bake their cakes?

In the coven!

Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game? 

Their bats flew away!

What’s a witch’s favourite grunge song?

Spells like teen spirit!

Why do witches stay in 5 star hotels?

Because of the excellent broom service!

What do witches put on their bagels?

Scream cheese!

Why did the witch give up fortune telling?

She didn't see any future in it?

How does a witch tell the time?

She looks at her witch watch!

What do you call two witches who live together?

Broom-mates!

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed, she blew her hat off!

What's the problem with twin witches?

You never know witch is which!

What game do witches play on Halloween?

Hide and ghost seek!

What's a witch's favourite ride at the fun fair?

The scary-go-round!

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches?

Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!

What's a witch's favourite make-up?

Ma-scare-a!

What do you learn at witch school?

Spelling!

Why did three witches call in the plumber?

Hubble, bubble, toilet trouble!

What do you call a witch with chickenpox?

An itchy witchy!

What do the fastest witches use to get around?

Vroomsticks!

A pumpkin on a broomstick

What do witches use to style their hair?

Scare spray!

Why did the witch go to the doctor?

She had a dizzy spell!

How do you make a witch itch?

Take away the 'w'!

What happenes to witches who break the school rules?

They get ex-spelled!

What noise did the witch’s cereal make?

Snap, cackle and pop!

What happened to the bad-tempered witch?

She flew off the handle!