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38 Toilet and Bathroom Jokes Which Don't Stink for Kids

Can you hear that? Sounds like some farty funnies are coming your way! Check out these funny toilet jokes...

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 27th 2024

When you've washed your hands of these, why not take a sniff at our silly fart jokes! Bursting for more jokes? Have a giggle at poop jokes, smelly jokes or even have a go on our legendary joke generator

Still looking for more? We've got gross jokes and smelly jokes too...

1. I ate too much alphabetti spaghetti...
Now I’m worried that my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster!

2. What do you call an igloo with no toilet? 
An ig!

3. What did the poo say when it was flushed down the loo?
Weeee!

4. Why should you never pour cereal down your toilet? 
It Kellogg’s up the drain!

5. How do you get your arm down the toilet?
U-bend it!

6. A ghost said ‘boo’ to the toilet...
It was a shock to the cistern!

7. Why don’t toilets ever get tired?
They’re always taking a seat!

8. When does toilet paper keep on wiping?
When it’s on a roll!

9. Where do toilets come from? 
They grow on toiletries!

10. Why do toilets make good detectives?
They always get to the bottom of things!

11. I bought an ABBA branded toilet last week...
What a loo!

12. What do you say to a photo-bombing toilet?
Urinal the photos! 

13. Why is it illegal to flush old shoes down the toilet in Holland?
They get too many clogs!

14. What do you call a dog sitting on the toilet? 
A poodle!

15. Which superhero goes to the toilet really quickly? 
The Flush!

16. Why were there balloons in the bathroom?
There was a birthday potty!

17. Why was Eeyore down the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh!

18. Why did the toilet roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!

19. What does Woody say when he has bad gas?
Darn tootin'!

20. Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'?
It never came out!

21. I’ve been experimenting with iron, carbon, and aluminum to make a better toilet. I’m going to write an essay on my results.
It’s titled “The FeCAl Matter”!

22. The bartender says, “Man, you look awful! What’s up?”
The toilet paper says, “Nothing, really. I’m just wiped.”

23. There are two reasons you shouldn't drink from the toilet.
Number one and number two!

24. Why couldn't the police officers catch the toilet thief?
They had nothing to go on!

25. Why do people take naps on the toilet?
The captain's log!

26. Doctor, doctor! I think I have a bladder infection!
I see urine trouble!

27. I've got a book in my bathroom that I write my feelings and personal thoughts into while on the toilet.
I call it my diarrhea!

28. I recently bought a toilet brush.
Long story short, I'm going back to toilet roll!

29. Why did three witches call in the plumber?
Hubble bubble, toilet trouble!

30. Why didn't the toilet roll make it across the road?
It got stuck in the crack!

31. What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!

32. Who saves the world by hanging out in the toilet?
Flush Gordon

33. Why does Spider-Man always flush the toilet?
Because it's his doody!

34. What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!

35. Why was Tigger in the bathroom?
He was looking for Pooh!

36. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a little flushed!

37. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent!

38. What do you do if you find a bear in your toilet?
Let it finish!