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Atom Jokes

If you are the mad scientist type who wants to formulate the perfect joke to test out on your laboratory assistant, then this page full of Atom Jokes is the page for you!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  October 28th 2021

Looking for more stuff like this? Check out these bubblingly reactive periodic table jokes, this array of computer science jokes
or for even more jokes (unless you’re going to make like an atom and split?) - have a look at our main jokes page! And don't forget to try our our amazing Joke Generator!

Did you hear about the huge cloud of toxic gas?

It came from an atomic bum!

What did the atomic rhino do?

An atomic charge!

Where might you find a neutron?

In a garden pondtron!

How did the atom become Prime Minister?

It held a general electron!

How did the Atom celebrate it’s birthday?

It threw a big particle!

What did one atom say to another during science class?

I’m bored. Let’s split!

What do you call a tiny cat?

Atom

Why did the particle go to church?

A man pointing at a church in Newcastle

For Atomic Mass

I would tell you a good joke…

But the good ones Argon!

What’s a sodium molecules favourite fruit?

Na na 

What did one copper molecule say to another?

CU

Oxygen and Potassium went to see the film Jungle Cruise. 

It was just OK!

Neutron: “How much for some cheese and onion crisps?”

Shopkeeper “For you, NO CHARGE!”

Did you know that when nuclear scientists discovered atoms could split…

…they were blown away!

What did the teacher say to naughty piece of gold:

A cheeky gold medal surrounded by splats

“AU, get out of my classroom!”

Atom 1: “I’m feeling quite positive” 
Atom 2: “I know. I stole your electron”

Atom1: “How Ionic”

What did the atom say when it lost an electron

I really gotta keep a better ion them!

They’re making an Antman / Loki crossover…

Loki’s being played by Atom Hiddleston!

Why shouldn't you trust atoms?

They make up everything!

What did one charged atom say to the other?

I got my ion you!

What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?

Let me atom!

Two atoms are walking down the street. One’s says “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other asks, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!”