Beano Superstars – Olive the Dinnerladies
There's nothing like a good school dinner, and Bash Street School's menu is nothing like a good school dinner... meet the ladies whose fault this is!
Olive the Dinnerladies?
Meet Olive and Olive, who serve up some "delicious meals" – definitely their words, NOT ours – at Beanotown School...
Olive Number One
I don't know if any school canteen in the world has two Olives making delicious dinners for the students. We're a dine-namic duo, alright, but it hasn't always been this way.
I was the only Olive at Beanotown School for a long time. It's hard work making lots of meals for the school. You have to get in early and make sure you have the right ingredients. If not, I would have to go to the local shops and get what I needed so everyone could tuck in to my signature dishes. My famous Friday Slop with Cold Baked Beans doesn't make itself, you know!
Then my friend Olive joined and now the kids can't get enough of our meals. Some of the kids are so excited, they scream and run out of the canteen – and don't come back for ages. They must be telling everyone they know how nice our meals are.
Olive Sprat Fact File
Name: Olive Sprat
Age: It's rude to ask a lady her age!
Best friends: The Janitor and Freddy
Worst enemy: Walter Brown, who has meals cooked by his dad's chef and sent to the school
Prized possession: Her ladle, which is reinforced with concrete. Normal ladles snap when asked to lift her soup.
Motto: "A little bit of mould never hurt anybody!"
Super skill: Transforming everyday ingredients into once-in-a-lifetime barf-bombs
Family: Happily married for 62 years to Jack, the thinnest man in Beanotown, Olive has always looked on Class 2B as her special little family
Address: 24 Chunk Terrace, Beanotown
Fact: Olive was supposed to be a contestant on The Great British Bake-Off this year. She was asked to leave the contest after she baked a loaf which was too disgusting to show on telly (even on Channel 4).
Only one of the judges was able to even smell it. Noel Fielding still looks pale to this day, the poor thing.
Olive Number Two
I'm Olive and I work in the canteen at Beanotown School. When the job was advertised, a record 32 people applied for the job, including Gordon Ramsay and Taylor Swift. It was clear that I was the right person for the job, with the cooking skills to match the other Olive.
I love experimenting in the kitchen and proud of our delicious dinners. Where else in Beanotown could you get cooked salad and soup that never spills, even if you drop the bowl into the slops bin (something which happens a lot, which is strange). Together, Olive and I could open our own restaurant because everyone clearly loves our school dinners. It's true what Olive said earlier; people scream when we serve up our food. It sounds like 'Nooooo', but in fact the kids are saying, 'Oooh!' because they excited about what they're about to eat.
My son Ben and daughter Jerry go to Beanotown School and insist on having packed lunches every day. I think that's sweet, because it means that they don't want to make extra work for their mum. Aw!
Olive Pratt Fact File
Name: Olive Pratt
Age: You'll get a thwack with a wooden spoon asking questions like that!
Best friends: Pieface is her special favourite pupil. She makes him potato-free chips , to avoid upsetting Paul. She's never told anyone what IS in her potato-free chips, and it's probably best not to ask.
Worst enemy: Cuthbert Cringeworthy, who will never EVER eat anything on the menu but dry toast.
Prized possession: A reinforced wooden spoon, for the same reason as Olive 1 has a reinforced ladle
Motto: "Everybody loves a good Number Two!!"
Super skill: Overcooking the salad
Family: She has a son, Ben, and a daughter, Jerry, who both go to Bash Street School
Address: 57 Heinz Boulevard, Beanotown
Fact: Olive beat 32 other dinner people to get the Bash Street School job, including Gregg from Masterchef, Gordon Ramsay and Taylor Swift!
