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36 Disney Jokes That Don't Take the Mickey!

Taking inspiration from the world of Disney, here are our funny Disney jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

These epic Disney jokes will give you a good laugh. More of a Marvel fan? We've got Marvel jokes and superhero jokes too.

What do the seven dwarves sing if they see a rainbow on their way to the mine?

High Hue, High Hue!

How cold was it at Disney World?

Donald Duck was wearing pants!

Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?

Because the carton said concentrate!

What's Mickey Mouses favourite treat?

Mice cream!

How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him?


Why would Snow White make a good judge?

Because she is the fairest of them all!

What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car?

Disney matter!

Why was Woody fed up of Hamm?

He was being a bore!

Where did Hamm go to school?


What did Hamm build his house out of?


What did Woody say to the pencil?

Draw, pardner!

What does Woody say when he has bad gas?

Darn tootin'!

What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?

Comet books!

What does Woody say when he walks into a German car dealership?


Why is Jessie undefeated at darts?

Because she always gets Bullseye!

Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school on the sun?

To get brighter!

What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy?

You've got a friend in me!

Why does Jessie ride Bullseye?

Because Bullseye is too heavy to carry!

What kind of music does Buzz Lightyear listen to?


Which chocolate bars are Buzz Lightyear's favourite?

Marsbars and milkyways!

What would you call Woody if he weighed 126 pounds?

A nine-stone cowboy!

Why does Woody always have to wear his trainers?

Because there's a snake in his boot!

Why is Buzz light year so good at Maths?

Because he can count to infinity and beyond!

Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?

Because he was horse!

What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear?

A lot. There were three movies!

Have you ever flown on a flying carpet!

It's a rugged experience!

What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells!

christmas jokes

Doctor, doctor! Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.

How long have you been getting these Disney spells?!

Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?

Jungle sales!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play cricket?

She always ran away from the ball!

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

She'll let it go!

Why can’t Cinderella play football?

Her coach is a pumpkin!

Why did Mickey Mouse fall over?

He had a Disney spell!

What superhero uses public transport?

Bus Lightyear!

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