Disney Jokes

Taking inspiration from the world of Disney, here are our funny Disney jokes!

These epic Disney jokes will give you a good laugh. More of a Marvel fan? We've got Marvel jokes and superhero jokes too.

Why would Snow White make a good judge?

Because she is the fairest of them all!

What did Mickey Mouse say when he crashed his car?

Disney matter!

Why was Woody fed up of Hamm?

He was being a bore!

Where did Hamm go to school?

Hogwarts!

What did Hamm build his house out of?

Mahogany!

What did Woody say to the pencil?

Draw, pardner!

What does Woody say when he has bad gas?

Darn tootin'!

What does Buzz Lightyear like to read?

Comet books!

Slinky walks into the saloon with only three of his legs and says to Woody...

"I'm alookin' fer the man what shot my paw"!

What does Woody say when he walks into a German car dealership?

Audi!

Why is Jessie undefeated at darts?

Because she always gets Bullseye!

Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school on the sun?

To get brighter!

What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy?

You've got a friend in me!

Why does Jessie ride Bullseye?

Because Bullseye is too heavy to carry!

What kind of music does Buzz Lightyear listen to?

Neptunes!

Which chocolate bars are Buzz Lightyear's favourite?

Marsbars and milkyways!

What would you call Woody if he weighed 126 pounds?

A nine-stone cowboy!

Woody is directing a cowboy film called "The Sun".

It's set in the west!

Why does Woody always have to wear his trainers?

Because there's a snake in his boot!

Why is Buzz light year so good at Maths?

Because he can count to infinity and beyond!

Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?

Because he was horse!

What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear?

A lot. There were three movies!

Have you ever flown on a flying carpet!

It's a rugged experience!

What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas carol?

Jungle Bells!

Doctor, doctor! Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.

How long have you been getting these Disney spells?!

Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?

Jungle sales!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play cricket?

She always ran away from the ball!

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

She'll let it go!

Why can’t Cinderella play football?

Her coach is a pumpkin!

Why did Mickey Mouse fall over?

He had a Disney spell!

What superhero uses public transport?

Bus Lightyear!

Spaceman in orbit - link to Music, Movie, TV and Gaming Jokes

More stuff