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20 Funniest Gardening Jokes & Puns for Kids

These hilariously gardening jokes and puns don't beat around the bush!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 15th 2022

You’ll really dig these funny gardening jokes. Sometimes jokes about plants be shrubbish, buit these gardening jokes and puns are treemendous and will make you hoe hoe hoe until you can’t feel for-lawn anymore!

When you’ve finished troweling with laughter check out all our other awesome nature facts and jokes and more specifically our 28 Tree Jokes Which Will Make You Very Poplar indeed! And if you think you’re more green fingered than the Incredible Hulk then try our Gardening Quiz: Can You Get 100 Percent?

Someone secretly dumped manure on my allotment…

The plot thickens!

My garden’s improving… 

It’s a process of trowel and error!

Where do gardeners sleep?

In the flower bed!

What do you call a gardener with a spade on his head?


What do you call a gardener without a spade on his head?


I had a job gardening…

I was raking it in!

The Hulk is a great gardener…

He's got green fingers!

I have a bird feeder in my garden…

To feed my cats!

The gardener was wondering where the sun was? 

Then it dawned on him!

Did you hear about the ill gardener?

He had a shed ache! 

You want to grow herbs?

I’ll give you some sage advice!

A plant told me I was doing a great job gardening…

It was an encourage mint!

My strawberries are designed to be bird proof

They’re impeccable!

People tell me I should sit on my garden wall…

Personally, I'm on the fence!

My fungi crop failed…

There’s mushroom for improvement!

Gardener Alf: There are  a hundred different herbs in my garden!

Gardener Sally: How you find the time?

I'm making a hat out of herbs I’ve grown…

My friends tell me it's a waste of thyme!

How do you calculate the area of a squash?

Pumpkin pi!

Why did the vegetable gardener quit?

His celery wasn't high enough!

The gardener said he’d dig a really deep, circular pond in my garden!

I think he meant well!