Answer these questions to find out!
The resounding butt-blart that sounded loud and clear when you sat down is still echoing around the room. The class is laughing so hard that shiny bubbles of snot are coming out of their noses, mouths and ears! You check your seat and find that one of your adorable pupils has left a whoopee cushion there. It's an air biscuit ambush.
What do you do?
Nightmare! The Head gave you a proper roasting because one of your pupils swapped the signs on the ladies and gents teachers' toilets, resulting in him having an embarrassing encounter with Miss Dressing, the school nurse.
Anyway, you've promised to look into it, but it made you late for lunch and there's none of your favourite soup left.
What do you do?
You've managed to get rid of your class for an hour by forcing your teaching assistant to take them out on a Tree Bark Identification Expedition*.
*also known as a cold, wet and muddy walk in the woods
How do you make best use of your 'non-teaching time'?
The bell rang 15 minutes ago. The class hamster has been found, given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and put back in its cage; Inhalers have been handed back, more or less to the same kids who brought them in; and Liam Braithwaite's mum has finally left the building.
How do you relax after the school day from hell?
It's the last day of term and this year some idiot decided that pupils should get to watch a film instead of the traditional mopping of the class ceiling.
You don't care - you'll be beavering away flat-out at your desk catching up on FaceBook as usual - but what film do you put on for them to watch?