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Beano Comic

20 Net-Busting Ronaldo Jokes!

If you love football legends and legendary jokes, then you will love these hilarious Cristiano Ronaldo funnies!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 12th 2024

Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest football players in the world. Before you name someone from your own team, sorry, but it's just a simple fact. And what better way to celebrate this Portuguese goal-scoring machine than some jokes which deserve the Ballon D'or? Here we go!

Do you know the only time Ronaldo makes a save?

When he’s playing a video game!

What does Ronaldo do went he wants to write a letter?

Falls to the ground and looks for a pen!

A ballpoint pen rests on a sheet of lined paper

What has two legs, two arms and four golden boots?

Cristiano Ronaldo!

Why did Ronaldo not bother passing to Cinderella?

Because she ran away from the ball!

Why did Portugal’s opponents keep slipping during the match?

Ronaldo dribbled everywhere!

Why doesn’t Ronaldo enjoy playing football in space?

There’s no atmosphere!

A football in space

Why was Ronaldo surprised after his football exam?

He passed!

A robot with a TV is happy with their school report card

Why is a chicken Ronaldo’s most feared opponent?

He’s afraid of them making a fowl!

What hot drink does Ronaldo love best?

Penal-tea!

Why does Ronaldo do well at Beano quizzes? 

He knows how to use his head!

A football on the touchline

Why does Ronaldo do well at Beano quizzes? 

He knows how to use his head!

A football on the touchline

Why is Ronaldo like a magician?

Hat tricks!

Why won’t Ronaldo play football in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

An orange football and a cheetah in a referee shirt

Why does Ronaldo brush his hair every chance he has?

So it won't get Messi!

Why is a Ronaldo shot like a computer virus to a goalie?

They won’t be able to save anything

How does Ronaldo stay cool during Al-Nassr matches?

He stands in front of his fans!

What’s the difference between Cristiano Ronaldo and time?

Time passes!

A lion and a stopwatch

What lights up a football pitch at night?

Ronaldo’s amazing skill!

A singing football fan

If Cristiano Ronaldo was a character from Greek mythology, what would he be?

A centaur forward!

A centaur and a cat with snakes for a head

Why does Cristiano Ronaldo always tidy his home?

Because he can't stand it looking Messi!