Sports Jokes

Score comedy goals with funny sport jokes from Beano!

Armed with these top sport jokes you WIN! Fill your goals with these gags.

From the rugby field to the tennis court, we've got sports jokes whatever you're into.

When you're done here, don't miss out on our epic football jokes!

Why don't fish play football?

They're scared of nets!

When does a British tennis match end?

When it's Wimble-DONE!

What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?

See you round!

What time do tennis players go to bed?


In tennis, what do you serve but never eat?

Tennis balls!

Where do tennis players go to dance?

A tennis ball!

Why should you never marry a tennis player?

Because, to them, love means nothing!

What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court?


Which athlete is warmest in winter?

A long jumper!

Did you hear about the football pitch NASA built on the moon?

They used astroturf!

I wish I had a book about boomerangs...

I lent out my last one but it never came back!

Doctor, doctor! They've dropped me from the cricket team - they call me butterfingers…

Don't worry, what you have is not catching!

Why do golfers wear two pairs of shorts?

In case they get a hole in one!

What kind of horse is good at swimming?

A seahorse!

Why couldn’t Cinderella play cricket?

She always ran away from the ball!

Why shouldn't you tell jokes when ice-skating?

The ice might crack up!

What blows at 100mph and always scores?

A Harrykane!

Who's the most dangerous footballer?

Eden Hazard!

Why is Ronaldo's bedroom always tidy?

Because he's not Messi!

Who's the slipperiest footballer?

Antoine GREASE-man!

If you liked this, then you should try watching Discover How England Will Do in the Football with Our Amazing Predictor!

More stuff