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50 Santa Jokes to Make You Jolly for Christmas 2021

Funny Santa jokes from Beano. All the Santa Claus jokes you need for a merry Christmas...

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

We love Christmas at Beano and nothing says Christmas like these seriously funny Santa jokes. Need more? We've got 100+ Christmas jokes, not to mention some of the best Christmas cracker jokes too.

 

How do you wash your hands at Christmas?

With hand Santatizer!

Laughing Father Christmas sitting down with his right hand in the air

Why does Santa like his reindeer to have antlers?

So he can get better tv reception in the sleigh!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus as he left on Christmas Eve?

I think it's going to rain, dear!

What are Santa's favourite crisps?

Kringles!

What do you call a crab that eats mince pies?

Santa Claws

What do you sing at Santa's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Christmas carol jokes

What does Santa say when he has a hard decision to make?

I'm between a jingle bell rock and a hard place!

Christmas carol jokes

Why was Santa forced to shut his grotto?

He was being investigated by the Elf and Safety Executive!

elf jokes

Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?

No, they already have names!

reindeer jokes

What do you call Santa Clause's reindeer wranglers?

Jolly ranchers!

reindeer jokes

Whats the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer?

The knight is slayin the dragon, and the reindeer are dragon the sleigh!

reindeer jokes

Why doesn't Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee?

He's on a deery-free diet!

reindeer jokes

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh and reindeer?

Nothing, it's on the house!

reindeer jokes

Who brings teeth gifts for Christmas?

Santa Floss!

What do you call Santa’s little helpers?

Subordinate Clauses!

Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?

Because he has private elf care!

elf jokes

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

A Christmas quacker!

christmas jokes

Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?

Dancer!

christmas jokes

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What does Santa spend his wages on?

Jingle bills!

What’s red, white and green?

Santa Claus when he’s travel sick!

Where does Santa stay when he’s on holiday?

In a ho-ho-hotel!

Santa jokes

Where does Santa go when he's sick?

To the elf centre!

christmas jokes

Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food?

Because it’s bad for your elf!

elf jokes

Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks?

Santa Jaws!

What did the sea say to Santa?

Nothing! It just waved!

Santa Claus on the telephone

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had low elf esteem!

elf jokes

Who is Santa's all-time favourite pop singer?

Elf-is Presley!

elf jokes

What do you call Santa when he's on a tea break?

Santa Pause!

what do you call jokes

Doctor, doctor! I’m scared of Father Christmas!

You’re suffering from Claus-trophobia!

Who delivers your dog’s Christmas presents?

Santa Paws!

What do you get if Santa forgets to wear his undercrackers?

Saint Knickerless!

What does Santa use to bake cakes?

Elf-raising flour!

elf jokes

How does Santa feel when he gets stuck up a chimney?

Claustrophobic!

What nationality is Santa?

North Polish!

What does Santa eat for breakfast?

Mistle toast!

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?

Sant Applause!

Who forgets to put on his underpants, then goes out to deliver presents?

Saint Knicker-less!

What do you call Santa's little helpers?

Subordinate clauses!

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it 'soots' him!

How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

Nothing - it was on the house!

How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?

Only one - after that, it isn't empty!

How do you know if Santa's in your house?

You can sense his presents!

Who solves crimes at Christmas?

Santa Clues!

How good is Santa at karate?

He has a black belt!

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish!

What's red and white, red and white, red and white?

Santa rolling down a hill!

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing, it was on the house!

What is Santa's sister called?

Mary Christmas!

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can hoe, hoe, hoe!

Santa - link from Santa jokes to Christmas jokes