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Astronomy Jokes

In space no-one can you hear you scream… with laughter. Check out this page of Astronomy Jokes with more giggles than there are stars at the sky (almost)!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 17th 2021

Looking for more stuff like this? Check out this galactic sized, epic space quiz, or take a creative journey and draw your own astronaut!
Or for even more out-of-this-world jokes, have a look at our main jokes page! And don't forget to try our our amazing Joke Generator!

The dog star is moving closer to Earth at a rate of 9.023 miles per
second. 

Sirius trouble!

How does Mars get to school?

It takes the Phobus!

How does Neptune hold up it’s trousers?

With Orion’s Belt!

Why did the comet play for England?

Because she was a shooting star!

What kind of stars wear sunglasses?

Movie stars!

What did Orion win in the Galactic Talent Show?

A constellation prize

What music do Astronauts listen to?

Queen jokes

Freddie Mercury’s got some great Nep-Tunes!

Flat-Earther’s have nothing to fear...

But sphere itself!

Early astronomers couldn’t work out where the sun went…

Silhouette of a tyrannosaurus rex at sunrise

But then it dawned on them!

How do astronomers organize a party? 

They planet!

Why does the moon orbit the Earth?

A full moon with a cheeky face

To get to the other side!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the astronomer swear?

He stubbed his pluto!

What does an astronomer use to wrap her falafel?

A scientist

Jupitta

What did the teacher say to the planet that jumped the queue?

Wait for your Saturn!

What does the distant planet wear when it gets out of the shower.

A bathprobe

How do you illuminate space?

With a satellite!

The shooting star didn’t turn up to it’s own wedding…

It couldn’t comet!

Why is do lions prefer eating Moon rock to Earth rock?

A lion in the Kalahari

It’s a little meteor!

I’d love to go to a party on the moon…

But I’ve heard there's just no atmosphere!

I love astronomy!

The rotation of the Earth really makes my day!

How do you make a planet poo?

With a galaxitive!

What do astronauts drink?

Gravi-tea!

Which planet loves jewellery?

Saturn - it's got lots of rings!

Have you heard the planet joke?

It was out of this world!

How do you throw a space party?

You planet!

Which planet is best at tennis?

Venus!