You can’t get wackier than some of these silly jokes from Beano! Also highly recommended if you’ve got a case of the frowns are our What do you call…? jokes and our funny knock knock jokes. Check out our random joke generator too!
How do bats check that they don’t fly into anything?
They look in their wing mirror!
Why did the chicken leave the library saying ‘book, book book’?
Because that’s the noise chickens make!
Why should you buy someone a comb before they leave?
Because it’s a great parting gift!
What do you call strawberries playing the guitar?
A jam session!
I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me!
What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending!
Have you heard about the new restaurant called karma?
There’s no menu, you just get what you deserve!
I saw someone spill all of their Scrabble tiles on the road…
I asked them what the word was on the street!
What happens after you rub ketchup in your eyes?
You feel silly in Heinz sight!
What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
You hang around while I go on ahead!
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why does Jessie ride Bullseye?
Because Bullseye is too heavy to carry!
Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!
What did the sea say to the land?
Nothing – it just waved!
Why was Tigger in the bathroom?
He was looking for Pooh!
What do you call a smelly fairy?
What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?
Puss ‘n’ Toots!
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!
What did the caveman give his Valentine?
Ugs and kisses!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy!
What has fifty legs but can’t walk?
25 pairs of trousers!
What did the blanket say to the bed?
I’ve got you covered!
Why did the onion need help?
It was in a pickle!
What’s brown and sticky?
What do you call dogs who did up ancient artefacts?
Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed!
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice!
What do you call a fly with no wings?
What do you call an elephant in a phone box?
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the moon burp?
Because it was full!
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You’re under a vest!
Why did the strawberry cry?
It was in a jam!
What did the shy pebble say?
I wish I was a little boulder!
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Nice gnawing you!
Who tells the funniest egg jokes?
What did one pig say to the other pig?
You take me for grunted!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved!
What did one leaf say to another?
I’m falling for you!
What did the duck say to the waiter?
Put it on my bill!
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing kagoules!
What do you get if you cross a cheetah with a burger?
Make like a tree…