Animal Jokes

Funny animal jokes from Beano! Whether you’re looking for pet jokes or silly animal jokes, we’ve collected the best animal jokes to keep you and your furry friends entertained.

Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling, hooting and roaring with laughter. EPIC! From the four-legged to the in-flight, the beaked to the barnacled, from dog jokes to elephant jokes, horse jokes to bird jokes, we've got them all!

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop!

Where do lions sell their unwanted stuff?

At a jungle sale!

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold it's nose!

You never see elephants hiding in trees...

They must be really good at it!

They told me to stop doing flamingo impressions...

I had to put my foot down!

What's the best kind of cheese to use to disguise a small horse?

Mascarpone!

What did the grape say when the sloth stood on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

What do sloths like to read?

Snooze-papers!

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

Why did the lobster giggle?

Because the sea weed!

Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?

Because they have such big fingers!

Which dinosaur knew the most words?

The thesaurus!

What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Don't go bacon my heart!

Where do cows go for entertainment?

To the moo-vies!

What goes tick-tock woof-woof?

A watchdog!

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

What sea creature can add up?

An octo-plus!

What's a dog’s favourite kind of pizza?

Pup-eroni!

What do you get if you cross Darth Vader with a toad?

Star Warts!

Did you hear about the dog who ate nothing but garlic?

His bark was worse than his bite!

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If you liked this, then you should try watching Beano Squad Battle the SATs!

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