Animal Jokes

Funny animal jokes from Beano! Whether you’re looking for pet jokes or silly animal jokes, we’ve collected the best animal jokes to keep you and your furry friends entertained.

Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we've collected our favourites here to get you howling, hooting and roaring with laughter. EPIC!

What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day?

Don't go bacon my heart!

Where do cows go for entertainment?

To the moo-vies!

What goes tick-tock woof-woof?

A watchdog!

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

What's a dog’s favourite kind of pizza?


Did you hear about the dog who ate nothing but garlic?

His bark was worse than his bite!

Why will a dog never win Strictly?

They have two left feet!

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

A penguin rolling down a hill!

What do you call dogs who did up ancient artefacts?


Who delivers your dog’s Christmas presents?

Santa Paws!

When does a horse talk?

Whinny wants to!

What do you call an elephant in a phonebox?


Why was the duck arrested?

It was suspected of fowl play!

How do dogs train their fleas?

From scratch!

What’s the most musical part of a fish?

The scales!

What do you call a dinosaur who wears glasses?

A Doyouthinkysaraus!

What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

Jurassic pork!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye deer!

How do chickens communicate?

With fowl language!

Why do ducks make good detectives?

They always quack the case!

If you liked this, then you should try watching Ghost Jokes

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