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Beano Comic

22 Funny Horse Jokes that Definitely Win Top Prize

Laugh yourself horse with these funny jokes from the farm...

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

Hay you! Check out these funny horse jokes...

Neigh enough for you? We've got animal jokes, elephant jokes and cow jokes too!

Did you hear about the man who got ill from eating a horse burger?

He's in a stable condition!

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?

There’s a horse walking around in their socks!

A horse walks into a bar

Luckily the landlord called the RSPCA and no one was hurt

A pony goes into a bar and whispers 'Can I have some water please?'. 'Sure' Says the waiter 'Sore throat?'

'No' says the pony, 'I'm just a little horse'

Why didn’t Dracula bet on the horse race?

The stakes were too high!

Two houses laughing

What did the mother horse say to the foal?

It's way pasture bed time!

mother's day

What do you call someone who is smart compared to horses?

A stable genius!

What does Scooby Doo's horse say?


What is a horse’s favourite song lyric?

Now watch me whip, now watch me nay, nay!

What’s a horse's favourite cheese?


Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?

Because he was horse!

What does a headless horseman ride?

A night-mare!

funny jokes

Who was the horse's favourite footballer?


Why did the horse sneeze?

Hay fever!

How do horses say hello?


What type of horses only go out at dark?


What happened to the person who dressed as a half human, half horse for Halloween?

They were the centaur of attention!

What's a horses favourite TV drama?


Did you hear about the sad horse?

He told a tale of whoa!

What kind of horse is good at swimming?

A seahorse!

When does a horse talk?

Whinny wants to!

What game do horses like best?

Stable tennis!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our dog jokes to our animal jokes