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24 FIFA Jokes Which Are Top of the League

The best FIFA jokes ever ... you could say they're Premier League!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 17th 2022

Take a break at half time with these funny FIFA jokes! And if you're putting off plunging into a challenging second half you might have time to check out our epic Fortnite jokes or Minecraft jokes too. If you're feeling a bit random, try our joke generator

FIFA 22 | EA Sports

What is a goalkeeper's least favourite drink?


A diving goalkeeper

Which FIFA player always leaves their kit lying on the floor?


How do football players keep cool at the World Cup?

They stand close to the fans!

What do you call an average potato who talks during FIFA matches?

A common-tato!

What do Lionel Messi and a magician have in common?

Awesome hat-tricks!

What is red and white and red and white and red and white and red and white?

A Liverpool fan rolling down a hill!

Football Jokes

What boat holds exactly 20 football teams?

The premiership!

Who’s the best FIFA player on the farm?

Gareth Bale!

Why is Cinderella so bad at football?

She always ran away from the ball!

Why should Bruno Mars feature on FIFA?

Because he is dripping with finesse!

How do FIFA players charge their phones?

With VOLTAs!

Who is a FIFA players favourite teacher?

Miss Terry Ball!

Why don't fish play FIFA?

They're scared of nets!

Mauricio Pochettino must have hurt his leg...

He always uses a Kane!

What should you do if Liverpool's midfield steal your car?

Call the Klopps!

What's the best way to protect your house from bad football?

A Guard-iola dog!

What is Man United's goalie's best feature?

De Gea!

Why are Man City better than Everton?

They have twice as much Silva!

Did you hear about the football pitch NASA built on the moon?

They used astroturf!

When is a football pitch like a triangle?

When somebody takes a corner!

Why is Messi like a magician?

He has loads of hat tricks!

Who was the sheep's favourite footballer?

Paul PogBAAA!

Which football team loves ice cream?

Aston Vanilla!

A retro black and white football on the centre circle of a grass pitch

How do footballers stay cool?

They sit next to their fans!

Silly jokes