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42 of the Funniest Fish Jokes on the Net

We're clown-fishing around with these funny fish jokes...

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

Laughter comes in waves with these funny fish jokes. If you like your jokes a little drier, we've got jokes from every corner of the animal kingdom... or pluck out a random joke from the Beano Joke Generator.

Have you seen the new fish burger from McDonald's?

It's called the McKerel!

Goldfish looking at a laptop with a picture of a fish on the screen

Where do fish sleep?

In a riverbed!

Laughing and crying emoji face

A fish swims into a wall.

Dam!

A goldfish wearing sunglasses

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other...

Do you know how to drive this thing?

A winking emoji and a laughing sloth

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fishually impaired!

eye jokes

What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?

Starfish!

A penguin jumping with a blue background

What competition do fish enter?

The Great British Hake Off!

A goldfish in water wearing a black shark fin

How does a squid go into battle?

Well armed!

What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?

This tastes a little funny!

What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother?

Not gill-ty!

What's a sharks favourite movie?

Shaw-shark Redemption!

What is a Great White shark's favourite kind of sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish!

What did the Mum shark say to the kid shark?

Watch that sharkasm, young man!

What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?

Chews wisely!

What did the shark say to the other shark?

There's some-fin special about you!

How does a shark greet a fish?

Pleased to eat you!

Where do sharks go on vacation?

Finland!

What do sharks order at McDonalds?

A quarter flounder with cheese!

What happened when the shark got famous?

He became a starfish!

Why do sharks live in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.

When I woke up I realized it was just a bream!

How do you make a goldfish age?

Take out the G and Fish!

Why don’t shellfish share?

Because they’re shellfish!

Which musical instrument is the best at catching fish?

A clarinet!

Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank!

Why don't fish like computers?

They're scared of the net!

A goldfish looking at a laptop with a picture of rainbow fish on it

Why don’t oysters like to share?

Because they’re shellfish!

Where do fish sleep?

On the sea bed!

A fish poking its tongue out

What do you call fish with no eyes?

A fsh!

What’s the most musical part of a fish?

The scales!

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can't tuna fish!

What is the best way to get in touch with a fish?

Drop it a line!

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships!

Doctor, doctor I've swallowed a fish bone. Are you choking?

No, I really did!

What do you call a shark with a tie?

So-fish-ticated!

What do you call jokes

What’s the most famous fish?

A star-fish!

What do fish use to help them hear?

A herring aid!

Why do fish live in salt water?

Pepper makes them sneeze!

Which part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales!

What kind of fish performs operations?

A sturgeon!

Which musical instruments can catch fish?

Castanets!

Where do fish keep their money?

Riverbanks!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from fish jokes to our animal jokes