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113 Great Jokes to Supercharge Your Comedy Superpowers

Get your daily dose of laughter with these categorically funny jokes from Beano – home of hilarious jokes!

Funny jokes are our thing. Down below you’ll find a cracking selection of jokes from Beano’s comedy kings and queens. We’ve been publishing the Beano comic, bursting with belly-wobbling pranks and funny jokes, for quite a while – we know at thing or 2,000 about what makes a joke funny!

These jokes are for anyone who likes a laugh, no matter your taste in jokes you’re bound to find some here that will put a smile on your face. What do you look for in a funny joke? Why not try these out on a friend or family member? Funny jokes like these are great for bringing people together. Can anyone guess the punchline? Can YOU keep a straight face? Not with these high quality, fresh out of the box funny jokes you can’t…

We’ve got load more jokes where these came from. Check out the Joke Generator on the jokes hub for random jokes and links to jokes on every topic. Need a bit more direction? Don’t miss our silly jokes or ‘What do you call…?’ jokes!

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory!

Why did the chicken go to the seance?

chicken jokes

To get to the other side!

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

funny jokes

He just needed a little space!

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor boards?

funny jokes

He was just going through a stage!

I saw someone spill all of their Scrabble tiles on the road…

I asked them what the word was on the street!

I don’t understand Americanisms…

Funny jokes

Like, Americans say eggplants, but everyone else says chickens!

What do you call a ghost comedian?

Dead funny!

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field!

What is a tree’s favourite month?

A laughing and crossed eyed face

Sep-timber!

What does “coincidence” mean?

Funny, I was about to ask you that….

What’s invisible and smells of carrots?

funny jokes

Rabbit farts!

What do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day?

Forget-me-nuts!

Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy!

Where do cows go for entertainment?

To the moo-vies!

What three letters frighten burglars?

Funny jokes

I-C-U!

What can you make that can’t be seen?

Funny jokes

A noise!

What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur?

Funny jokes

Cheer him up!

What’s soft and slippery?

Funny jokes

A slipper!

What flies around waving the stars and stripes?

Funny jokes

A USB!

What do lawyers wear to court?

Funny jokes

Lawsuits!

What gets wetter the more it dries?

Funny jokes

A towel!

What month do soldiers hate the most?

Funny jokes

March!

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Funny jokes

Fingernails!

Where did the king keep his armies?

Funny jokes

Up his sleevies!

What is the shortest month?

Funny jokes

May – it only has three letters!

What house weighs the least?

Funny jokes

A lighthouse!

What has two wheels and flies?

Funny jokes

A wheelie bin!

What has fifty legs but can’t walk?

Funny jokes

25 pairs of trousers!

What’s round and dangerous?

Funny jokes

A vicious circle!

What’s an inkling?

Funny jokes

A baby pen!

What is the fastest country in the world?

Funny jokes

Rush-a!

What has a bottom at the top?

Funny jokes

Your legs!

What is the cutest season?

Funny jokes

Awwww-tumn!

What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?

Funny jokes

A nun rolling down a hill!

What do you call a funny mountain?

Funny jokes

Hill-arious!

How do you sink a submarine?

Funny jokes

Knock on the door!

Why don’t oysters like to share?

Because they’re shellfish!

Why is it fun to play jokes on Humpty Dumpty?

Funny jokes

He always falls for it!

What do fishermen catch at night?

Funny jokes

Starfish!

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

Why was the belt arrested?

Funny jokes

It held up some trousers!

What’s the coldest country?

Funny jokes

Chile!

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?

Funny jokes

It was two-tyred!

What’s the best day to go to the beach?

Sun-day, of course!

Why do trees hate tests?

Funny jokes

They hate being stumped!

How do you start a cuddly toy race?

Funny jokes

Ready, teddy, go!

What happened when nineteen and twenty played a game?

Funny jokes

Twenty won!

What happens if you spit out a lightbulb?

Funny jokes

You’re de-lighted!

What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

Funny jokes

The second telephone!

Which painting complains a lot?

Funny jokes

The Moaner Lisa!

What washes up on very small beaches?

Funny jokes

Microwaves!

Who invented fire?

Funny jokes

Some bright spark!

Which Roman Emperor had hay fever?

Funny jokes

Julius Sneezer!

What’s the biggest cause of road rage?

Funny jokes

Cross roads!

How do fireflies say goodbye?

Funny jokes

Got to glow!

Why are perfume sellers really smart?

Funny jokes

They have lots of common scents!

What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

Funny jokes

The ground!

Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed!

Why was the archaeologist sad?

Funny jokes

His career was in ruins!

What do clouds wear beneath their trousers?

funny jokes

Thunderwear!

Why do shoes always come in pairs?

Funny jokes

They’re sole-mates!

How do robots drive?

funny jokes

They put their metal to the pedal!

What happened when the TV aerials got married?

funny jokes

They had a great reception!

Did you hear about the man who was arrested for being an art thief?

funny jokes

He was framed!

Did you hear about the woman who wore sunglasses?

Funny jokes

She took a very dim view on things!

How do you make milkshake?

Funny jokes

Give it a good scare!

What do farmers do when they are tired?

Funny jokes

They hit the hay!

Did you hear the joke about the dustbin?

funny jokes

It’s a load of rubbish!

Why don’t people get married in igloos?

funny jokes

In case they get cold feet!

Who gets the sack every time he goes to work?

funny jokes

The postman!

Who stole the soap at bathtime?

funny jokes

The robber ducky!

What does a clock do when it is hungry?

funny jokes

It goes back four seconds!

Why do boats go on dates?

funny jokes

They’re looking for row-mance!

What goes “hick-hock”?

Funny jokes

A clock with hiccups!

What does a headless horseman ride?

funny jokes

A night-mare!

Why do hairdressers make good taxi drivers?

funny jokes

They know all the short cuts!

How do you start a jelly race?

funny jokes

On your marks, get set!

Which country is the slippiest?

funny jokes

Greece!

Which trees are the handiest?

funny jokes

Palm trees!

How do you make a bandstand?

funny jokes

Take away their chairs!

Why are shoemakers kind?

funny jokes

They have good soles!

How do fleas get around?

funny jokes

By itch-hiking!

Why was the boy scout dizzy?

funny jokes

He spent the whole day doing good turns!

How do pixies eat?

funny jokes

Goblin!

Where do library books like to sleep?

A pile of books having a nap

Under their covers!

Why shouldn’t you tell jokes when ice-skating?

The ice might crack up!

Can February March?

funny jokes

No, but April May!

Did you hear the joke about the bed?

A funny comedian telling a joke

I haven’t made it yet!

What goes up and down but does not move?

funny jokes

A flight of stairs!

How do farmers mend their trousers?

funny jokes

With cabbage patches!

What begins with T, ends with T and has T in it?

funny jokes

A teapot!

How do you make varnish disappear?

funny jokes

Take away the ‘r’!

What is the fastest thing on water?

funny jokes

A motor-pike!

Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom?

Because the ‘p’ is silent!

When’s a door not a door?

When it’s ajar!

What is the longest word?

Smiles – there’s a mile between the first and last letters!

What has four eyes and a mouth?

eye jokes

The Mississippi!

What’s King Arthur’s favourite game?

funny jokes

Knights and crosses!

How does a train eat?

funny jokes

Chew-chew!

When is a green book not green?

When it’s read!

Why is your mum’s sister good for cuts?

funny jokes

She’s antiseptic!

What’s always on the ground but doesn’t get dirty?

Your shadow!

What does a Triceratops sit on?

Its tricerabottom!

Why was the bear spoiled?

People always panda’d to him!

Did you hear about the thief who stole a surfboard?

He escaped on a crime wave!

Which is the best day to cook bacon?

Fryday!

What insect is the most untidy?

The litterbug!

Why can’t Cinderella play football?

Her coach is a pumpkin!

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam!

Why did the weightlifter eat bricks?

To build himself up!

Why did the horse sneeze?

Hay fever!

Silly jokes from Beano - link from funny jokes to silly jokes