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20 Best Grape Jokes & Puns So Funny You'll Burst!

These funny grape jokes will give you a real raisin to laugh! Check out these puns - they're grape!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:ย  October 10th 2022

Have a giggle, or let out a little wine at these funny grape jokes! And if you liked these, there's more food jokes here! How about these punny pickle jokes? Or maybe you'd prefer some funny vegetarian jokes? And of course you can find even more great jokes on our main jokes hub!

Why don't farmers grow grapes?

Because they're raisin them!

Be careful if you get in a wine barrel...

The currant is very strong!

What do you call it when you add grapes to beef?

Raisin the steaks!

I can't tell you why I like grapes...

But I have my raisins!

I want to talk to you about dried grapes...

I'm trying to raisin awareness!

Where do grapes keep their money?

In their currant account!

What happens if you step on a grape?

It lets out a little wine!

What's a grape's favourite fruit?

A grapefruit!

Would you drink grape juice?

Sure, wine not!

I have a lot of raisins...

I'm very grapeful!

What did one grape say to the other?

I love you a bunch!

How do grapes communicate?

On the grape vine!

I've love that new song about grape preserves...

It's my currant jam!

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

'Breathe out!'

What would a news show hosted by grapes be called?

The Currant Affairs Show!

What do you call a fruit that never says thank you?


What's purple and hangs on a vine?

A green grape holding its breath!

Why should you swap sultanas and raisins?

To get the currant exchange rate!

Where do you bury a grape?

In a vineyard!

I don't know who first invented raisins...

But it was a grape idea!

Why did the pineapple go out with a grape?ย 

They couldn't find a date!

What did the grape say when it was squashed?

Nothing, it just let out a little whine