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20 Vegetarian Jokes So Good You Can't Beet Them!

Lettuce entertain you with these lol worthy vegetarian jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  December 30th 2021

These funny vegetarian jokes have BEAN carefully selected to make you laugh! And if you enjoyed these, why not check out our funny flower jokes, these flappin' hilarious bat jokes, or these lol worthy lettuce jokes?

And as always we've got tonnes more jokes on our joke generator!

Why did the tofu cross the road?

To prove it wasn't chicken!

Can I tell you a vegan joke?

Don't worry, it's not cheesy!

What did the lettuce say to the celery?

'Are you stalking me?'

What do vegetarian zombies eat?


What did one vegetarian say to the other?

'We must stop meat-ing like this!'

If vegetarians eat vegetables...

What do humanitarians eat?!

Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers?

The celery was unacceptable!

Why didn't Noah have any vegetables on the ark?

He didn't want a leek!

What's a librarian's favourite vegetable?

Quiet peas!

What does a vegetarian get on their birthday?

A carrot cake!

Did you hear about the vegetarian band?

They had some really good beets!

What sort of dog does a vegetarian have?

A collie-flower!

A laughing crying tiger

What do vegetarians call the basement?

The cellar-y!

What do you get in a vegetarian's attic?

Corn on the cob-webs!

What did the vegetarian beauty queen ask for?

World peas!

How do vegetarians mend their clothes?

With a vegetable patch!

Why aren't vegetarians allowed on buses?

They take up too mushroom!

Do you remember meeting that vegetarian girl?

No, I'd never met herbivore!

I'm not sure about becoming a vegetarian

It could be a huge missed-steak

Why did the vegetarian protest get shut down?

Some private information got leeked!