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Kayaking Jokes

We can tell oarsome kayak jokes! Canoe? Yes, it’s time to paddle up mirth river for a whole boatload of oarful puns!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 15th 2021

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I can kayak…


Did you tie your kayak up?

Knot sure!

Did you here about the Egyptian kayaker who refused to accept he had missed out on Olympic qualification?

He was in Denial!

Kayaker 1: Isn’t the Amazon river beautiful!

Kayaker 2: Yes it is. Can you believe they named it after a website!

Why is a kayaker like the orange squash you get at a school disco.

They’re both close to water!

I had a massive row with my brother yesterday!

We love our new kayak!

What do call a Kayak going backwards?


What’s the best way to deal with rapids?

Go with the flow!

Why should you never burn your canoe?

You can’t have your kayak and heat it!

What does Donald Trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes!

I’m the fastest kayaker on the river…

Canoe believe it!

The crocodile took a bite out of my canoe…

I said “take a bow!”

I dropped my paddle in the river…

I feel oarful!

After a long canoe down the river…

You’re likely to suffer from kayache!

The paddle sale at the Kayak store so busy…

It’s quite an oardeal!

Front or back of the 2-person kayak?

Either oar

Why didn’t you buy a kayak?

There was no sale on!

A man with a silly amount of cash

Before I had surgery the surgeon offered to knock me out with with gas or to hit me with a kayak paddle.

It was ether/oar situation!

Did you hear about the kayaker who hit a river dwelling mammal?

They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee!

A judge in court

What did the camper realise when he burnt his canoe to keep warm?

You can’t have your kayak AND heat it.

How does Scooby Doo kayak?

He Ruh-rows!