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32 Boat Jokes You'll Want To Tell Schooner or Later

These boat jokes are sea-larious!

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Last Updated:  October 13th 2021
First Published:  August 28th 2020

These funny jokes will really float your boat! If you want more, check out our sea-larious sea jokes for more ocean madness. We've also got more chuckles with car jokes , our wheely funny cycling jokes and, of course, there's loads more fun to be had with our joke generator

How does a flower get a boat across a lake?

It rose!

I just bought a really expensive barge pole...

I thought I'd push the boat out!

What happened when the blue boat and the red boat crashed into each other?

They were marooned!

Who is the fastest sailor in the world?

Usain Boat!

What do sailors eat for breakfast?

Boatmeal!

What's a vampire's favourite type of boat?

A blood vessel!

Which vegetable is banned from boats?

Leeks!

How do boats say hello to each other?

They wave!

How do you make a boat feel better?

Give it some vitamin-sea!

Where do zombies go sailing?

The Dead Sea!

Did you hear about the boat that cheated in the race?

It was rigged!

Which boat is the rudest?

The barge!

Did you hear about the oars that fell in love?

It was very row-mantic!

What did the mummy boat say to the baby boat?

Don't be so naughtycal!

Who's the fastest man on the seas?

Usain Boat!

What's a boat's favourite motto?

Seas the day!

Did you hear about the boat that had a baby?

It was a buoy!

Why was the sail embarrassed?

Because it was passing wind!

Why are boats like shops?

They always have a sail on!

Did you hear about the sale at the paddle shop?

It was a big oar deal!

Where does a boat go when it needs money?

The sand bank!

Why did the boat go to the dock?

It gave into pier pressure!

What was the boats motto?

Do it schooner rather than later!

What's another name for a Captain?

Sails Manager!

What happened when the blue boat crashed into the red boat?

The crew were marooned!

What should you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc!

What might you uses to sail across the sky?

A rainboat!

I named my iPhone Boat...

It's now syncing!

What do you call it when Shrek falls off a boat?

Ogreboard!

Why do boats go on dates?

funny jokes

They're looking for row-mance!

What do boats eat with a spoon?

Tomato sloop!

When is a boat just like snow?

When it's adrift!