Sea Jokes

Funny jokes about the sea from Beano's joke-masters...

Make a splash with our funny sea jokes, they're shore to give you a giggle!

We've got jokes about pirates, the humble octopus and oceans everywhere.

Don't miss our fish jokes and animal jokes too.

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

I met a sailor who liked to put helium balloons in his ship...

Whatever floats your boat I guess!

Why did the crab never share?

Because he's shellfish!

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter of the alphabet?

The C!

Why don't fish play football?

They're scared of nets!

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles!

What did the sea say to the land?

Nothing - it just waved!

The worst thing about sea sickness?

It comes in waves!

Why did the lobster giggle?

Because the sea weed!

What sea creature can add up?

An octo-plus!

Why are pirates called pirates?

Just because they arrrrr!

What do mussels do on their birthdays?

They shell-ebrate!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?


How do you cut the ocean in half?

With a sea-saw!

What is a pirate’s favourite letter?


Why are octopuses good in a war?

They're well armed!

What kind of horse is good at swimming?

A seahorse!

Where do fish sleep?

On the sea bed!

What’s the best thing to give a seasick monster?

Plenty of room!

How to pirates get to the airport?

They rent a cARRR!

Why are pirates great singers?

They hit the high Cs!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved!

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships!

Next up: animal jokes, linked to from funny sea jokes. A raccoon playing a guitar.

More stuff