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36 Sea Jokes That Are Shore To Make You Laugh

Funny jokes about the sea from Beano's joke-masters...

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 1st 2022

Make a splash with our funny sea jokes, they're shore to give you a giggle!

We've got jokes about pirates, the humble octopus and oceans everywhere.

Don't miss our fish jokes and animal jokes too.

What should dolphins always have to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea!

What did the whale say when he saw his ex girlfriend?

‘This is ORCAkward!'

Why can’t you trust a whale with your money?

He’ll BLOW the HOLE lot!

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

It was her life’s PORPOISE!

What do polite whales say?

You’re whale-come!

Where do whales sleep?

On the ocean bed!

How do whales make decisions?

They FLIPPER coin!

How did the octopus make the whale laugh?

With ten-tickles!

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

hilarious jokes

What kind of mushroom can you find in the sea?

Oyster mushrooms!

mushroom jokes

I met a sailor who liked putting helium balloons in his ship...

Whatever floats your boat I guess!

Why did the crab never share?

Because he's shellfish!

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter of the alphabet?

The C!

Why don't fish play FIFA?

They're scared of nets!

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles!

What did the sea say to the land?

Nothing - it just waved!

The worst thing about sea sickness?

It comes in waves!

Why did the lobster giggle?

Because the sea weed!

What sea creature can add up?

An octo-plus!

What do mussels do on their birthdays?

They shell-ebrate!

Why are pirates called pirates?

Just because they arrrrr!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?


Why are octopuses good in a war?

They're well armed!

What is a pirate’s favourite letter?


How do you cut the ocean in half?

With a sea-saw!

What’s the best thing to give a seasick monster?

Plenty of room!

Where do fish sleep?

On the sea bed!

A fish poking its tongue out

Why are pirates great singers?

They hit the high Cs!

How to pirates get to the airport?

They rent a cARRR!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved!

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships!

What kind of horse is good at swimming?

A seahorse!

Next up: animal jokes, linked to from funny sea jokes. A raccoon playing a guitar.