Skip to main content

Sea Jokes

Funny jokes about the sea from Beano's joke-masters...

Make a splash with our funny sea jokes, they’re shore to give you a giggle!

We’ve got jokes about pirates, the humble octopus and oceans everywhere.

Don’t miss our fish jokes and animal jokes too.

What did the whale say when he saw his ex girlfriend?

‘This is ORCAkward!’

Why can’t you trust a whale with your money?

He’ll BLOW the HOLE lot!

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

It was her life’s PORPOISE!

What do polite whales say?

You’re whale-come!

Where do whales sleep?

On the ocean bed!

How do whales make decisions?

They FLIPPER coin!

What did the crab say to the beached whale?

“Long time no sea!”

How did the octopus make the whale laugh?

With ten-tickles!

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

hilarious jokes

A nervous wreck!

I met a sailor who liked putting helium balloons in his ship…

Whatever floats your boat I guess!

Why did the crab never share?

Because he’s shellfish!

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter of the alphabet?

The C!

Why don’t fish play football?

They’re scared of nets!

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten tickles!

What did the sea say to the land?

Nothing – it just waved!

The worst thing about sea sickness?

It comes in waves!

Why did the lobster giggle?

Because the sea weed!

What sea creature can add up?

An octo-plus!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!

What do mussels do on their birthdays?

They shell-ebrate!

Why are pirates called pirates?

Just because they arrrrr!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff!

Why are octopuses good in a war?

They’re well armed!

What is a pirate’s favourite letter?

ARR!

How do you cut the ocean in half?

With a sea-saw!

What’s the best thing to give a seasick monster?

Plenty of room!

Where do fish sleep?

A fish poking its tongue out

On the sea bed!

Why are pirates great singers?

They hit the high Cs!

How to pirates get to the airport?

They rent a cARRR!

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved!

What do sea monsters eat?

Fish and ships!

What kind of horse is good at swimming?

A seahorse!

Next up: animal jokes, linked to from funny sea jokes. A raccoon playing a guitar.