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20 Sailing Jokes To Put The Wind In Your Sails

Looking for some nautical nonsense? Go overboard with this hilarious list of sea-riously silly sailing jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 28th 2023

What could be better than going sailing? Oh, that's right - going sailing AND telling lots of sailing jokes! So next time you're out at sea (or imaging that you're out at sea) reach for some of these sniggeringly silly sailing jokes!

Are these jokes not quite your idea of fun? Then stop hanging about and take a look at these lightbulb jokes, these drumming jokes, or even these chicken jokes! Jokes everywhere!

Ok, let's get stuck into these sailing jokes!

People may think it's necessary for ships to have sails…

I would say its a mast!

I had trouble navigating the waters between Russia and Alaska

I couldn't get my bearings straight!

Boat jokes thumbnail
Boat jokes thumbnail

How do you sell a ship with a broken mast?

Promote a half-price sail!

If the internet had a boat, where would they park it?

In Google Docs!

It's fine to be enthusiastic about sailing…

Just don't go overboard!

I was sailing when a massive hand rose up out of the water

It was the biggest wave I’ve ever seen!

Did you hear about the dog who owned a leaky three-masted sailing ship?

His barque was worse than his bite!

Why do pirates avoid sailing in shallow water?

With only one eye, they have terrible depth perception!

Last night I dreamt I was sailing in a sea of fizzy drink

It was a Fanta sea!

Did you hear about the blue sailboat that hit the red one?

They were marooned!

Apple is making a new line of pirate ships

They’re calling it the iAye!

How do you know when a boat is feeling affectionate?

When it hugs the shore!

I went to the Black Friday sale at the boat store

It was quite an oar deal!

How did the pirate afford such a big boat?

It was on sail!

Why do boats always get good deals?

They love a sail!

What do you give a sailor with a big nose and a cold?

An anchor chief!

What vegetables are sailor’s enemies?


Who is the fastest sailor in the world?

Usain Boat!

Where do zombies go sailing?

The Dead Sea!

Why was the sail embarrassed?

Because it was passing wind!