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24 Tea Jokes Especially For Brew

I'm not stirring, but if you're in the mood for some humour, then these freshly brewed funny tea jokes will be just your cuppa!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  May 24th 2023

Hello. It's lovely to see you. I'll put the kettle on (yes I know it doesn't fit me) and pour you a hot steaming mug of hilari-tea. 

These funny tea jokes are the perfect accompaniment to our funny cake jokes. Or they'll even finish off three courses of our slap-up, slap-stick food jokes.

Basically, we're an endless, eat-all-you-want-buffet of top-notch funnies.

I’m about to order a dangerous cup of coffee...

Safe tea first, though!

Why do aliens always spill their tea?

Because they have flying saucers!

What does a skeleton drink tea out of?

Bone china!

What's the difference between a musician's locker and an Englishman?

One has key and trumpets, the other has tea and crumpets!

When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage?

When it's not your cup of tea!

What drink brings you down to earth?


What's the difference between Manchester United and a tea bag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer!

How do you ask a dinosaur in for a cuppa?

Tea Rex?

A grinning orange mug

How long does it take to brew weird-tasting tea?

Oolong time!

How do you offer a camel a cup of tea?

One hump or two?

What's a monkey's favourite drink?


Patient: I get a sharp pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.

Nurse: Take the spoon out first!

What did Rose Tyler have for tea?

An Unidentified frying object!

dr who jokes

What do you call a dentist that doesn't like tea?


Why don't British golfers play in the afternoon?

Because it interrupts their tea time!

Why does Joyce Byers prefer coffee over tea?

She likes stronger things!

How does Mary Poppins take her tea?

With a spoonful of sugar!

Why did Bert clean the chimneys with his phone?

He was a chimney swipe!

What does Mary get when she calls the kids in for tea?

Lots of little poppins!

What would you drink at the mad Catter's tea party?


Why doesn't the Queen of Hearts go to the Mad Hatter's tea parties?

He doesn't serve royal-tea!

What is Aladdin's favourite type of tea?

Jasmine and camel-mile tea!

What kind of tea does Alex Morgan drink?


What do you call Santa when he's on a tea break?

Santa Pause!

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