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Tea Jokes

I’m not stirring, but if you’re in the mood for some humour, then these freshly brewed funny tea jokes will be just your cuppa!

Hello. It’s lovely to see you. I’ll put the kettle on (yes I know it doesn’t fit me) and pour you a hot steaming mug of hilari-tea. 

These funny tea jokes are the perfect accompaniment to our funny cake jokes. Or they’ll even finish off three courses of our slap-up, slap-stick food jokes.

Basically, we’re an endless, eat-all-you-want-buffet of top-notch funnies.

I’m about to order a dangerous cup of coffee…

Safe tea first, though!

What’s the difference between a musician’s locker and an Englishman?

One has key and trumpets, the other has tea and crumpets!

When shouldn’t you drink a hot beverage?

When it’s not your cup of tea!

What drink brings you down to earth?


What’s the difference between Manchester United and a tea bag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer!

How do you ask a dinosaur in for a cuppa?

A grinning orange mug

Tea Rex?

How long does it take to brew weird-tasting tea?

Oolong time!

How do you offer a camel a cup of tea?

One hump or two?

Patient: I get a sharp pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.

Nurse: Take the spoon out first!

What did Rose Tyler have for tea?

dr who jokes

An Unidentified frying object!

Why don’t British golfers play in the afternoon?

Because it interrupts their tea time!

Why does Joyce Byers prefer coffee over tea?

She likes stronger things!

How does Mary Poppins take her tea?

With a spoonful of sugar!

Why did Bert clean the chimneys with his phone?

He was a chimney swipe!

What would you drink at the mad Catter’s tea party?


Why doesn’t the Queen of Hearts go to the Mad Hatter’s tea parties?

He doesn’t serve royal-tea!

What is Aladdin’s favourite type of tea?

Jasmine and camel-mile tea!

What kind of tea does Alex Morgan drink?


What do you call Santa when he’s on a tea break?

what do you call jokes

Santa Pause!

Food Jokes