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Funny Vegetable Jokes

Broc-coli moly! Check out these extra-funny vegetable jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 14th 2021

If you're still hungry for more greengrocer gags when when you've eaten all these, we've got plenty more funny vegetable jokes.

Yep, broccoli jokes, carrot jokes... and all these other jokes! We've got loads!

What type of leaf vegetable can go to the moon?


What's a librarian's favourite vegetable?

Quiet peas!

What did one snowman say to the other?

Can you smell carrots?

Why are mushrooms invited to parties?

Because they are such fungis!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?

A Broc-collie!

What vegetables do sailors hate?


Why do potatoes make good detectives?

Because they keep their eyes peeled!

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

What do you call a potato with right angles?

A square root!

A grinning unicorn

What do you call a pogo stick made of veg?

A spring onion!

What day of the week do potatoes hate the most?


What do you say to a loud vegetable?

Turnip down!

What do you call a stolen yam?

A hot potato!

What's small, round, and giggles a lot?

A tickled onion!

Where do chickens grow?

On eggplants!

How did the banana wear her hair?

In bunches!

A laughing banana in front of a blue background

Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares?

Because they take up too mushroom!

What is the fastest vegetable?

A runner bean!

Why did the Tomato go out with a prune?

Because he couldn’t find a date!

What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?

Picking his nose!

What vegetable is only slightly cool?

A Rad-ish!

How do you turn soup into gold?

Just add 14 carrots!

What's green and goes to a summer camp?

A Brussels Scout!

Vegetable puns make me feel good.

From my head tomatoes!