25 of the Most Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes... Ever!
Chuck Norris is an all-round tough guy. Check out these funny jokes and fake facts about the action movie legend!
Chuck Norris is a famous martial arts expert and action movie legend. His reputation as an all-round tough guy had inspired hundreds of jokes and totally false facts (which are pretty believable). Here are some of the funniest!
Chuck Norris once froze a volcano by looking at it!
![Volcano jokes](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/volcano-jokes.png?w=1024)
Chuck Norris has never cooked a hot meal.
Revenge is a dish best served cold!
![A chef](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/chef.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...
He waits!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/pillow-dream-sleep.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris tore up the Periodic Table...
Because he only believes in the element of surprise!
![A scientist](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/scientist.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris sacked his own shadow
for being too slow!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/joke-15.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris once made a Slinky go upstairs!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/slinky-joke.jpg?w=1024)
It takes Chuck Norris 5 seconds...
To cook a minute steak!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/steak.png?w=1024)
Chuck Norris decides if a helium balloon will float!
![Balloon Game](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/balloon-game.png?w=1024)
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/doctor-2.jpeg?w=1024)
When Chuck Norris was born...
He gave his mum a lift home from the hospital!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/baby.jpg?w=1024)
We Googled the last time a baddie defeated Chuck Norris...
Zero results!
![A cat looking at a computer](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/cat-computer.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...
Twice!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/weird-numbers.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at a Pizza Hut...
And got one!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/burger-joke.png?w=1024)
Chuck Norris doesn't do press ups to keep fit...
He's actually holding the Earth down!
![Earth Facts](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/earth-facts.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris didn't call the wrong number...
You picked up the wrong phone!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/mobile-phone.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/joke13.jpg?w=800)
When people think they can hear a thunderstorm...
It's actually Chuck Norris applauding!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/3-lightning.jpg?w=1024)
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.
Forever!
![Scrabble Quiz Thumbnail](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/70387_second-option-final.png?w=1024)
Chuck Norris doesn't need a haircut.
His hair is scared to grow!
![A man giving himself a haircut](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/home-haircut.jpg?w=1024)
They didn’t put Chuck Norris’ star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...
They built Hollywood around his star!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/chuck-norris-star.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris once made an onion cry!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/onion.jpg?w=1024)
Why doesn't Chuck Norris have a clock?
Because he decides what time it is!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/74935_clock-2.jpg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris once built a snowman...
Out of warm water!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/legacy/84093_Snowman1.png?w=809)
Chuck Norris doesn't need to blow his nose!
His germs simply run away!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/snot.jpeg?w=1024)
Chuck Norris once kicked a lump of coal so hard it turned into a diamond!
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/diamonds.jpg?w=1024)
![](https://www.beano.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/JOKE-GEN-7.webp)