Skip to main content
Subscribe to our Beano comic! Click Here
Beano Comic

20 Accountant Jokes That You Can Count On!

Looking for some jokes that add up to a good time? Balance the books with these budget-busting accountant jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  October 21st 2023

Are you an accountant? Would you like to be one? Or maybe you just find accountants funny (to be fair, they are quite funny). Well, however you ended up on this page of hilarious accountant jokes we're sure you'll enjoy it! So get ready to take your tax return out of your pocket - you might crease it up by laughing too hard!

After some other unexpectedly funny jokes? Click here for algebra jokes, or some mirror jokes, or even these trumpet jokes!

OK - let's read on, accountancy fans!

What does a great accountant do?

They Excel!

I got a job as an accountant age 22. When I turned 30 they sacked me

15 years of loyal service, down the drain!

What do you get when you cross an accountant and a plane?

A Boring 747!

How did the accountant graze her knees up?

She lost her balance!

Why does it pay to have an accountant?

Because it’s accrual world out there!

Where do accountants like to sing?

In the audit-orium!

Why did the chiropractor need an accountant?

She owed back taxes!

What are litter trays tax free?

Because that’s where cats do their business!

What does a pelican and an accountant have in common?

They both have big bills!

How do dairy farmers do their taxes?

With a cowculator!

Golf is a lot like taxes

You try hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole!

Why did the cat have to go to an accountant?

They got caught up in a purramid scheme!

I bought solar panels for my house, they were free because of tax breaks

Does this mean they are on the house?

Which superhero pays no tax?

Spiderman, all his income is net!

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget!

Why don’t skunks pay tax?

Because they have only one scent!

What is an accountant’s favourite Lord of the Rings movie?

The Return of the King!

What do you call an accountant for the biology department?

A buy-ologist!

How does the fly keep a track of its money?

It uses an account-ant!

Why do accountants have big muscles?

Because they keep trying to balance the books!