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30 Funny Alphabet Jokes For Kids!

These Alphabet Jokes Will Have You Laughing All the Way from A-Z!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  October 11th 2022

O I C U R looking for some hilarious alphabet gags so please letters provide some! If you are a Back to School Superhero? you’ll have already studied our 20 Science Jokes Which Are Actually Genius so it’s time to take a step back to basics and start learning the alphabet again - literally as easy as ABC. Sounds boring but these gags will have you in consonant laughter… You can alphabet on it! Then check out our interesting but still funny 10 Educational Facts about School!

Yesterday I saw the police gathered around some spilt Scrabble tiles!

I asked some guy “What’s the word on the street?”

How do you compliment a kitten in five letters?

U R A Q T!

What occurs once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?


Me: Waiter, there’s no pasta bits in my Alphabetti Spaghetti!

Waiter: You must’ve got all the spaces!

What is a pirate's favourite letter?

You'd think it'd be Arrgh, but his heart belongs to the C.

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

To whom it may concern,
You are being investigated for downloading copyrighted content.

What is an astronauts favourite letter on a keyboard?


What word starts with an E, ends with an E,  but only contains a single letter? 

An Envelope!

Postman Pat Jokes
Postman Pat Jokes

What is Paul McCartney’s favourite consonant?

Letter B, letter B, letter B yeah letter B!

What do vampires learn at school?

The alphabat!

How many letters are in the alphabet? 

24 because ET went home!

I ate four cans of Alphabetti spaghetti…

And just had the largest vowel movement ever!

A man holding lots of toilet rolls

How many letters are in the alphabet? 

11. T.H.E.A.L.P.H.A.B.E.T

What do gnomes learn at school?

The elf-abet!

I quite like 25 letters of the alphabet…

But I love u!

Why can’t a pirate finish the alphabet?

They spend ages at C!

At nursery school, I loved this one letter so much, whenever I saw it I had to touch it…

My teacher would whisper "Prodigy..."

I’m BFF’s with 25 letters of the alphabet…

I don’t know y!

When I was a baby my mum told everyone I loved alphabetti spaghetti?

She was just putting words in my mouth!

What letter is delivered straight to the toilet?


When I saw "HI" in the alphabet I thought I’d made a new BFF

Then I saw the next two letters. JK!

Why is B cool? 

Because it’s between AC!

Ed Sheeren is really into the alphabet…

He’s in love with the shape of u!

What has more letters than the alphabet? 

The post office!

What 7 letters do you say to a snack drawer with no snacks!

o i c u r m t

Why didn’t Santa give the alphabet presents?

Because most of the letters are not-E!

Cheeky Kid: What's the second to last letter in the alphabet? 
Teacher: Y. 

Cheeky Kid: Cause I wanted to know!

What’s the longest word in the Dictionary? 

Smiles! There is a mile between the start and finish!