Hello, this is Dennis. I’m here to tell you all about Rasher – my pet pig. She’s always on the look out for a snack and generally loves life. Rasher is a totally blam pet – in fact, a pig is a totally ham pet!
My dad also had a pig called Rasher when he was young, so I thought my parents would be fine about me rescuing Rasher’s daughter – also called Rasher – from a fate worse than sausages, but that’s where we got into a bit of a sticky situation.
It turns out that our house is pretty full, which is fair enough: there’s mum, dad, me, Bea, Gnasher and his son Gnipper. Maybe adding a pig to the mix might be a bit much. I hadn’t a clue how to break the news to her – it would break her heart.
That’s when my Gran stepped in and proved why she’s one of the most blam grandparents ever. She came to our house for a cup of tea and noticed that Rasher and me were a bit miserable. She offered to look after Rasher at her own house, forever. So now she stays with Gran for six months of the year and stays with us too. It also gives Gran's garden a chance to recover and grow some new vegetables. How blam is that?
Rasher adores turnips and loves collecting them. She also loves to scoff them, too, so her collection never really gets bigger or smaller.
She's the friendliest pig you'll ever meet and gets on with everyone. The only person she doesn't like is Butch Butcher, but not for reasons you'd expect. Underneath his white hat, Butch has the same hair as 'the King of rock n' roll' – his words – and because of this reason alone, Rasher just decided not to be his friend. She doesn't like Elvis, you see?
Rasher Fact File
Birthday: 5th May
Best friend: Dennis
Worst enemy: Butch Butcher, just having greased back hair like Elvis
Prized possessions: Her turnip collection, which includes a rare albino turnip
Motto: 'Where there's swill, there's a way!'
Super skill: Making a mess, scoffing turnips
Family: Brother Hamlet, sister Virginia
Address: 51 Gasworks Road and 67 Sutherland Crescent
Fact: Rasher lives half of the year with Dennis and half with Gran. This is to let their gardens recover (no garden could survive a whole year of Rasher's rolling), and for turnip supplies to be built up