Biology Jokes

Have every cell in your body laughing with Beano's banterful brew of biology jokes!

Finished experimenting with these? Check out our hilarious history jokes, fantastic physics jokes or even some miraculous maths jokes.


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Why did the biologist not water all of the plants?

Because they couldn't find the thyme!

One plant says to another: 'Are you hungry?'

The other replies: 'Yes, I could use a light snack!'

Why should you worry if you get a B for your biology practical?

Because it's much easier to dissect a frog!

Why couldn't the plants escape from prison?

Because their cells were surrounded by walls!

What does a biologist wear on a first date?

Designer genes!

Which biochemicals wash up on the beach?

Nucleo-tides!

2 blood cells met and fell in love...

Alas, it was all in vein!

Why are biology teachers also great philosophers?

They give great life lessons!

When a plant is sad, what do the other plants do?

Photosympathise!

Biology is important...

Its a matter of life and death!

Whats the tiniest virus?

Smallpox!

What type of flower does everyone own?

Two-lips!

Why are the viruses all gone?

Because they flu away!

How do you identify a bald eagle?

All his feathers are combed over to one side!

What is bloods message to the world?

B Positive!

What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

I hate people who don’t cover their noses and mouths when they sneeze.

They make me sick!

What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells!

What do chickens grow on?

Eggplants!

What's the difference between Scooby Doo and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail, the other tags a whale!

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