How do you calculate the circumference of a dessert?
Why did the tree fail Maths?
It couldn’t do square roots!
If you had 4 apples and 5 oranges in one hand and 6 apples and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have?
Very large hands!
What’s the most mathematical aspect of summer?
The tan lines!
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
I couldn’t differentiate between them!
Bit nervous about my maths exam.
Think my chances of passing it are 40-40!
To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero…
Thanks for nothing!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them!
How do mathematicians tell off their children?
If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Teacher: If you got £20 from 5 people, what do you get?
Student: A new bike!
Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!
Why is Buzz light year so good at Maths?
Because he can count to infinity and beyond!
Did you hear about the constipated maths teacher?
He had to work it out with a pencil!
Why couldn’t the maths student get any attention?
He didn’t count!
How does a mathematician plough his fields?
With a pro-tractor!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine!
Why was the maths student so bad at decimals?
She couldn’t get the point!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the Eighth!
What is a polygon?
A dead parrot!
What’s black, white and horrible?
A maths test!
What do butterflies study at school?
What happened to the maths teacher’s garden?
The plants all grew square roots!
Why should you never do maths in the jungle?
Because if you add four and four, you might get ate!
Why was the maths book sad?
It had too many problems!
Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 strawberries?
Because that would be a pi!