School Jokes

Funny school jokes to brighten those hours squeezed between the bell...

School's pretty funny, and these jokes prove it!

From teachers to maths lessons, we're cracking out the comedy.

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium!

Why do people call organic chemistry the meanest science?

Because it’s always pushing electrons around!

How Dreamwork's chemistry movie will be named?

How to train your Argon!

Why did the robot go back to school?

Her skills were a little rusty!

What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

Look at the board and I will go through it again!

Teacher: If you got £20 from 5 people, what do you get?

Student: A new bike!

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands!

Teacher: Didn't I tell you to stand at the end of the line?

Student: I tried but there was someone already there!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

The pupils were so bright!

Why did the school ban scissors?

To stop people cutting class!

What do you learn at witch school?

Spelling!

Headteacher: "Do you know how many teachers work at this school?"

Teacher: "I'd say about half of them!"

Why couldn't the maths student get any attention?

He didn't count!

How does a mathematician plough his fields?

With a pro-tractor!

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine!

Why was the maths student so bad at decimals?

She couldn't get the point!

Who invented fractions?

Henry the Eighth!

Why did the zombie stay home from school?

He felt rotten!

Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes!

What is a polygon?

A dead parrot!

Why was the music teacher sad?

He had lots of trebles!

What happenes to witches who break the school rules?

They get ex-spelled!

Why is an English teacher like a judge?

They both hand out long sentences!

What’s the difference between teachers and sweets?

Kids like sweets!

How do bees get to school?

On the school buzz!

What do butterflies study at school?

Mothematics!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet!

What’s black, white and horrible?

A maths test!

Why did the teacher go to the beach?

To test the water!

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test!

What happened to the maths teacher's garden?

The plants all grew square roots!

Why don't farts do well at school?

They get expelled!

Why did the echo get detention?

For answering back!

Why should you never do maths in the jungle?

Because if you add four and four, you might get ate!

Who's in charge of the pencil case?

The ruler!

How do you get straight A’s at school?

Use a ruler!

Why did the teacher write on the window?

So the lesson was clear!

What’s the worst thing you can find in a school canteen?

The food!

Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems!

Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?

He was elf-taught!

Where do kittens go on school trips?

The mewseum!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Someone told him it was a piece of cake!

More stuff