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46 Funny School Jokes That Are Top Of The Class

Funny school jokes to brighten those hours squeezed between the bell...

Last Updated:  July 29th 2021
First Published:  January 25th 2019

School's pretty funny, and these jokes prove it!

From teachers to maths lessons, we're cracking out the comedy. 

For something a bit more random, check out the great joke generator

What school subject is the fruitiest?

History - it’s full of dates!

Why did the mushroom hate going to school?

mushroom jokes

Because he was always so spored!

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium!

Why do people call organic chemistry the meanest science?

Because it’s always pushing electrons around!

How Dreamwork's chemistry movie will be named?

How to train your Argon!

What was the Christmas tree’s favourite subject in high school?


Why did the robot go back to school?

Her skills were a little rusty!

What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

Look at the board and I will go through it again!

Teacher: If you got £20 from 5 people, what do you get?

Student: A new bike!

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands!

Teacher: Didn't I tell you to stand at the end of the line?

Student: I tried but there was someone already there!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

The pupils were so bright!

What title did Mr Bean always win in school?

No.1 in the spelling BEAN!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Why did the school ban scissors?

To stop people cutting class!

What do you learn at witch school?


Headteacher: "Do you know how many teachers work at this school?"

Teacher: "I'd say about half of them!"

Why couldn't the maths student get any attention?

He didn't count!

How does a mathematician plough his fields?

With a pro-tractor!

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine!

Why was the maths student so bad at decimals?

She couldn't get the point!

Who invented fractions?

Henry the Eighth!

Why didn’t Rudolph go to school?

He was elf-taught!

Why did the zombie stay home from school?

He felt rotten!

Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes!

What is a polygon?

A dead parrot!

Why was the music teacher sad?

He had lots of trebles!

Where do kittens go on school trips?

School jokes

The mewseum!

Why is an English teacher like a judge?

They both hand out long sentences!

What happenes to witches who break the school rules?

They get ex-spelled!

How do bees get to school?

On the school buzz!

What’s the difference between teachers and sweets?

Kids like sweets!

What’s black, white and horrible?

A maths test!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet!

What do butterflies study at school?


What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test!

Why did the teacher go to the beach?

To test the water!

Why don't farts do well at school?

They get expelled!

What happened to the maths teacher's garden?

The plants all grew square roots!

Why did the echo get detention?

For answering back!

Why should you never do maths in the jungle?

Because if you add four and four, you might get ate!

Who's in charge of the pencil case?

A pack of multicolored pencils lying on a wooden table

The ruler!

Why did the teacher write on the window?

So the lesson was clear!

How do you get straight A’s at school?

Use a ruler!

What’s the worst thing you can find in a school canteen?

The food!

Why was the maths book sad?

It had too many problems!