Teacher Jokes

Teacher Jokes fresh from the staff room!

Do you know a teacher who never cracks a smile? Get them on (chalk)BOARD with Beano's best teacher jokes! 

If teachers aren't hilarious enough (no comment!), we've also got the best school jokes and can help you see the funny side of Maths and English!

Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation?

Because they have no class!

What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

Look at the board and I will go through it again!

Teacher: If you got £20 from 5 people, what do you get?

Student: A new bike!

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?

Student: Big hands!

Teacher: Didn't I tell you to stand at the end of the line?

Student: I tried but there was someone already there!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

The pupils were so bright!

What’s the name of the teacher who is always late?

Mister Bus!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: How do you spell London? Child: L… I… O Teacher: There's no I in London!

Child: Yes there is, I went on it with my mum!

What kind of lunches do geometry teachers enjoy?

Square meals!

What do you do when your teacher rolls her eyes at you?

Pick them up and roll them back!

Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?

Because she couldn’t control her pupils!

Headteacher: "Do you know how many teachers work at this school?"

Teacher: "I'd say about half of them!"

Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes!

Why was the music teacher sad?

He had lots of trebles!

Why is an English teacher like a judge?

They both hand out long sentences!

What’s the difference between teachers and sweets?

Kids like sweets!

Why did the teacher go to the beach?

To test the water!

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test!

What happened to the maths teacher's garden?

The plants all grew square roots!

Why did the teacher write on the window?

So the lesson was clear!

A boy in front of a blackboard with laughing face emojies and the words funny school jokes - link from teacher jokes.

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