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22 Biscuit Jokes Which Aren't Exactly Crackers

These hilarious jokes really take the biscuit!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 12th 2021

These hilarious jokes really take the biscuit! 

If you thought these jokes were tasty, why not check out our cake jokes? There's also pancake jokes if you're looking for jokes that land a little bit flatter, and Great British Bake-Off jokes for all your baking lols! 

And as always, check out our jokes page for loads more laughs!

What do biscuits do once they finished on the computer?

Clear their cookies!

What do biscuits eat for a treat?

Fish and chocolate chips!

Grinning chocolate cookie

Why did Bob get a job in the biscuit factory?

He kneaded the dough!

What's delicious and goes 'meow'?

A bis-cat!

What do biscuits do when they're happy?

They give a crumbs up!

Why was Bob fired from the McVities factory?

He really took the biscuit!

Why was the biscuit so rich?

It earned a packet!

Why did no one want to date the digestive?

Because it was so plain!

What do biscuits use to fix things?

Jaffa tape!

Why are biscuits meaner than cakes?

Because they're twice as hard!

What did the biscuit say when it got in trouble?


Which biscuit is always insulting people?

A disscuit!

Which biscuit floats?

A water biscuit!

What's the oldest biscuit?

A jammy codger!

Which biscuit is always picking pockets?

The jammy dodger!

Which biscuit is the friendliest?

Nice biscuits!

What happens to a biscuit when its asleep?

It has custard dreams!

How do biscuits pay for things?

With chocolate chip and pin!

Grinning fox and surprised chocolate digestive

Which biscuit is the most royal?

Custard Queens!

Which biscuit always has an upset tummy?

A digestive!

Why did the biscuit cry?

Because his father was a wafer so long!

What’s the difference between an elephant and a biscuit?

You can't dip an elephant in your tea!

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